A friend of mine (I’ll call her Jamie) has an adult daughter (I’ll call her Sophie) with cerebral palsy – like Sarah Kate, but her case is more severe. Jamie recently posted the following on Facebook:
Who believes God causes the storms/trials we face in our lives? If so, give me reason to believe that. … If so, why Sophie?
I left a comment on her post at the time but ran into her a few days later and we discussed it more at length. She posted the question after visiting a church and hearing an evangelist preach that “God brings storms into our lives”. His words didn’t sit well with her.
So does God cause suffering?
Short answer: no, of course not. God is Good. God is Love. Saying that He causes our trials portrays Him like the disturbed neighbor boy Sid Phillips from Toy Story. But does God allow suffering? Certainly.
Why does God allow suffering?
As the mom of two kids with special needs – wildly divergent in their abilities and impairments – I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating the question of suffering. Let’s face it: nobody hopes their baby will be born with a disability, and the rate of abortion of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome in utero is astounding. Some people abort because they think a baby with Down syndrome shouldn’t be brought into the world (“to suffer”). Others abort because they think they can’t handle being the parent of a child with Down syndrome (i.e., they don’t personally want to suffer). But is the disability the actual source of suffering?
Sarah Kate has had more surgeries and physical pain than most of her peers, but given time they’ll have their share of physical pain, too. No one is immune from suffering.
But what about emotional suffering?
Sarah Kate is mature and grounded for her age, and there’s a notable lack of drama in our household (but not ZERO drama – she’s still a teenager, after all). Her challenges have taught her empathy for others. She often says that she wouldn’t choose a cure even if it were offered because cerebral palsy has made her who she is today.
Academically, Nathan is behind the curve for a nine-year-old, and his speech is delayed. Physically, he’s typical(ish), though he’s short, a little on the chunky side, and his muscles are a bit loose. But he’s predisposed to be outgoing, positive, and happy. People may not hope their baby will be born with Down syndrome, but most people would like to have a child who’s outgoing, positive, and happy.
The struggles my kids face are due to living in a world – a fallen world – that isn’t made for them.
- God isn’t the one who parked illegally in all of those disability spaces.
- God isn’t the one who passed Sarah Kate over for opportunities.
- God isn’t the one who didn’t have the patience to try and figure out what Nathan was trying to say to him.
- God isn’t the one who knocked Sarah Kate down in the middle school hallway.
- God isn’t the one who sprayed Nathan in the face with a water gun at close range.
People did all of those things.
God doesn’t cause suffering, but he does allow it because he gives us free will, and free will leads to a fallen world.
One of the many things that led me to become Catholic was the Church’s position on suffering. Even suffering that has no apparent reason is valuable because when we are at our weakest we can learn to depend on God. When we are suffering, if we keep in mind the depths of suffering Christ endured on our behalf, we will be led to take up our cross and follow him.
Don’t forget to join my email list and follow me on Instagram and Facebook! Subscribers receive notice of new blog posts, other tidbits, and links to Sarah Kate’s latest YouTube videos in their inbox.
