Goodbye 2018 … Hello 2019!

I don’t know about you guys, but we’re already well into January of 2019 and I’m struggling with getting past 2018. I’d like to be able to point to a single cause for why I can’t quite get going with the new year, but the truth is it’s been this way for me for years.

Because we don’t start celebrating Christmas (at home, anyway) until it actually arrives, our focus doesn’t fully shift away from Christmas until Epiphany when the stockings and tree come down and the Mardi Gras decor goes up. Until Christmas was truly and completely behind us, it simply didn’t feel like 2019 to me yet, so I hope you’ll indulge me while I reflect a bit on the closing days of 2018 before I jump into the rhythm of the new year.

We Celebrated Christmas

We continued our tradition of decorating on Christmas Eve, although this year we didn’t wait until noon (and, as a result, there are zero photos of Sarah Kate helping because she is a teenager who was on break and she slept through all of it).

But despite Sarah Kate’s absence, her NICU guardian continues to make the ornament cut after all these years. The back of her tiny angel garment is stained pink from being too close to a red candle that melted in the Gulf Coast attic heat a few years ago, but we just turn her so you can’t see it.

We went to the 4:00 Christmas Eve Vigil Mass in a neighboring town again this year – it’s the only time all year that we visit this particular parish so it’s become something of a tradition. We had absolutely zero trouble getting Nathan to go to bed on Christmas Eve – he’d been counting down the days for weeks.

Sarah Kate Turned 16

Because she uses hand controls to drive, we surprised Sarah Kate with a car last spring – a Tornado Red Volkswagen Beetle. She passed her road test months ago so the only thing she had to do to obtain her license was turn sixteen and show up with her paperwork. Mr. Andi took her bright and early on the morning of her birthday – she was back home, license in hand, before Nathan or I made it out of our pajamas.

We Traveled Back to Auburn…

My sister and her family have a house on the lake near Auburn and for the past two years we’ve celebrated Christmas with extended family there. This year we decided to also go to a basketball game to cheer on our beloved Tigers (and when I say “beloved” I am including Sarah Kate in the “our” because ever since she had the opportunity to swim at the Auburn University Aquatics Center she is fired up about Auburn!)

The students were home for Christmas break so we got (cheap!) general admission seats and ended up courtside just a few rows up (in fact, the bald guy in the blue vest in the background of both of the above photos is Rod Bramblett, the voice of the Auburn Tigers). I also heard from multiple friends and family members that they saw us on TV. LOL! We had no idea.

…and Ran Into a Special Friend

Going back to Auburn feels like going home, and on this particular day it was like a reunion in three parts. I ran into two different friends from high school and another who was my sorority sister AND lived on the hall with me when we were freshmen…..and she also helped deliver my firstborn child.

If you’ve been around here for awhile you’ve probably read Sarah Kate’s birth story; Katie is featured prominently in Part 2 and Part 3. I knew then and still maintain that God sent Katie to us all those years ago, and seeing her so soon after Sarah Kate’s milestone birthday was probably the best part of the weekend for me. We moved six months after Sarah Kate was born, so although I had kept up with Katie somewhat through Facebook, she had never met Sarah Kate (again? I guess it’s met “again” since technically they did meet in the delivery room?)

And of course Nathan got his photo taken with a special someone, too – Aubie the Tiger – actually, he had a LOT of photos with Aubie because (a) he kept walking by us and (b) Katie knew Aubie and told him that Nathan was her special friend.

Now I’m Looking Ahead to 2019

I mentioned up top that it’s common for me to be a little sluggish about moving into each new year, but this year IS different from years past. Last year, we learned just a few days into January that my dad’s cancer was back and his days were growing short. I had the last conversation I would ever have with him a couple of weeks later and before February arrived he was gone.

They say that the first year after a loved one dies is the most difficult. That year is one entire cycle of Firsts Without Them – the first birthday, the first Christmas – but it’s also a year of remembering the lasts – the last time he visited, the last time we talked – and both the firsts and the lasts must be faced and embraced and moved through to come out on the other side.

But what does this have to do with Bringing the Sunshine?

Honestly…not much, at least not directly. But because 2018 was a year of angst, struggle, transition, and unfinished business, it has me thinking a lot about what my plans are for my writing going forward. I did a lot of writing but I didn’t share a lot in this space in 2018, and most of the posts were about Sarah Kate because she was the one who was Doing Big Things.

I’ve thought a lot over the past few months about where to go with this writing space going forward. It began eight years ago as an outlet for me but became a place of sharing with you and helping you in your own journeys. In those eight years the blogosphere has changed dramatically, and I’m not sure what my place is in it now.

So Can I Ask You a Question?

Before I charge ahead with changes, I have a question for you (okay, two questions…but choose the one that applies to you).

1. If you’re a parent or caregiver of a child with a disability, what are you struggling with or what do you need help with most right now?
2. If you aren’t a parent or caregiver, what are you most interested in learning or hearing more about from me and our family?

Shoot me a message using my contact form, by leaving a comment below, or (if you’re reading this in your email) simply hit reply and let me know your thoughts (I promise I’ll read your response!)

Andi