Mr. Andi and I have been married for twenty years, and it’s almost comical how few personal interests we have in common. He loves fishing, camping, hunting, and most other outdoorsy activities. A natural-born extreme extrovert, he also doesn’t enjoy alone time, and he doesn’t think twice about abandoning something – like a book or project – if it’s just not working for him.
I’m a homebody through and through. I’ve been a runner for years, which I love in part because of its solitary nature. I have no interest in fishing, camping, hunting, or anything more outdoorsy than sitting on my back porch (or on the beach) reading a book. I see things through to the bitter end, almost without exception. I have only abandoned one book in my life; it was nonfiction and in the back of my mind I know I may pick it up again and finish it one day.
We both like food.
We both like the beach.
That’s about it.
However, each of us is blessed with an endless supply of optimism that One Day! we will find an activity we like that the other will enjoy, as well. Mr. Andi continues to suggest that I might like to go fishing in This Particular Spot, or for That Particular Type of Fish, or maybe I could just sun myself on the boat while he fishes. For my part, I suggest a vacation to Disney or a TV series we can binge on and he either say “You go ahead!” or pretends not to hear me. Sometimes, though, the reluctant joiner will relent.
Like this past Sunday, when I went quail hunting.
The quail hunting excursion was born of a stray comment I made the weekend before when my dad and stepmom were here. My dad was supposed to treat Mr. Andi to a hunting trip, but it had to be canceled due to atrocious weather. My dad gave him a check with instructions to go and take a friend. Ever hopeful, Mr. Andi said he thought I might like it. I knew his mom was coming to town, so I noted that it might be possible for her to babysit then while we went.
My moment of casual weakness became The Plan, and a week later, I was dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, Sarah Kate’s North Face jacket, and a pair of black rain boots with hot pink soles that I bought at Wal-Mart the day before for $12.88.
I took my camera, so instead of quail, I shot Gabi.
I don’t give a rip about hunting, but I do love our dogs and it was entertaining to watch Gabi “in action” on a hunt. It was clear while watching her that hunting is what she was bred to do and she loved every second of it.
Like Mr. Andi (and all of us!), she needs the chance to do what she loves…what’s in her nature…what makes her really come alive. More importantly for me, it was almost five hours, including the car ride, that I spent WITH my husband but WITHOUT my children – a rare treat, even if it wasn’t an activity I would normally relish.
And then there’s Mr. Carson…
Like many of you, I watched “Downton Abbey” from start to finish. Mr. Andi never cared one whit about it, but on the first Sunday night of season six he settled in on the love seat for no other reason than just to be in the same room with me. After failing to find an appealing diversion on his phone or Kindle, he started paying attention to the show, and discovered that he actually liked it – especially Mr. Carson. As he put it, “Hey – if you aren’t doing anything wrong he’s going to leave you alone. No nonsense.”
Sunday Date Night in the Living Room was born.
The series is over now, of course, and Mr. Andi still isn’t and likely never will be a binge watcher, but each Sunday night since Downton ended, we’ve put Nathan to bed, sent Sarah Kate off to her room, and settled in to watch an episode from Season One. By the time we make it back around to the end of season six, that’ll be a year’s worth of date nights.
Neither clomping around in the woods nor watching a British TV series are the most romantic scenarios in the world, but on Sunday we started and ended our day doing something together, so it was fine by us. Sometimes it’s the most basic of activities enjoyed together that make all the difference in the world.
Eric and I have more separate interests than similar interests as well. Maybe we will have to figure out a different date night too
Date nights are essential, no matter how trivial the activity! My DH and I have made good use of the babysitting facilities at our local YMCA to go soak in the community hottub an chat. After an hour or so of relaxation, we pick up the kids and go for family swim. The kids tire out, and go straight to bed when we get home.
I love seeing Gabi in action, doing for her what is natural. Your photography, Andi, is superb. You can handhold exposures I have less than 1 in 20 chance of nailing. My top shutter speeds on my cameras must be spot on accurate, so much so, I can give up some accuracy on the slow speeds. This dealing with wayward muscle tone and spasticity led to a friend of mine giving me my photography tagline, “The Spastic Image”. I am well known for using improvised objects for bodily support. And my cameras must be manual, mechanical, and rugged to extremes. I know how to ding up Leicas and Nikons too well.
Thanks so much, Kent! You didn’t see the many, many shots I discarded. 🙂 Gabi is a fun subject, though, because she was always in motion, and like you said, doing what is natural for her!
Also, Andi, your photography skills are a major thing which makes your blog so terrific, You need to get Sarah Kate used to real photography manually, she likely has this in her DNA, I suspect this is a Sligh trait. I love your photographs, they are really fine.