Sarah Kate made her band debut on Friday night.
The sixth, seventh, and eighth grade band students were invited to participate in the pre-game spirit tunnel and first half pep music at the Mayberry football game. Participation wasn’t mandatory, so I was glad Sarah Kate wanted to join in.
Things got off to a rocky start.
Before we ever left the house, Sarah Kate was on the verge of tears, apprehensive about standing on the field with her clarinet. She was afraid she would drop it, break something, fall, or [fill in the blank eleven-year-old band horror]. Mr. Andi was out of town, but my mother-in-law, Charlotte, came for the weekend and between the two of us we managed to calm her down. The experience was the opposite of the start of softball, when I was a wreck and she was very nonchalant about the whole thing.
The next hiccup came when I went through the dozens of ribbons she has to put in her hair and discovered that she has several colors of blue, none of which were the school color of royal blue. We went with navy instead, assuming that mixed with the gold it would be close enough. Unfortunately, we discovered too late that the opponent’s school colors were navy and gold…
At the stadium, we met hiccup number three: an incredibly steep decline at the band member gate. Sarah Kate definitely couldn’t walk down it, and the wheelchair wasn’t especially safe, either. The gatekeeper looked like she wasn’t going to let us in (Band Members Only!), even for a moment to help her, but about that time Sarah Kate’s band director appeared and we were allowed to pass (with a guarantee that we would return from whence we came and go pay to get in like everyone else).
The woodwinds were lined up across the bottom few rows, so they just let Sarah Kate stay in her chair at the end of the row. The clarinet section leader, Emily, seemed to take a shine to Sarah Kate, helping her get warmed up or whatever it is that school band people do.
When it came time for the spirit tunnel, Emily had Sarah Kate hold both of their clarinets in her lap while she pushed her onto the field.
Sarah Kate had a great spot – right next to the cheerleaders and Pirate mascot. She didn’t actually play while the team ran out, because the sixth graders hadn’t learned the fight song, but she told me that she held her clarinet and moved her fingers without blowing so she “wouldn’t look like an idiot.”
At the end of the first quarter, I eased back down to the band section of the bleachers to check on her. She was wearing a sweatshirt I’d never seen before and smiling and chit-chatting with great gusto. When she spotted me, she waved wildly – a vast improvement over the pre-game apprehension.
A wheelchair isn’t exactly compatible with marching band, of course, but she has almost three years before she needs to be able to play in formation. It’s possible, too, that she could have the opportunity to be “in the pit” and avoid marching altogether. Of course, she also has almost three years to change her mind and ditch band completely.
One of my biggest worries as she approaches the teen years is how difficult it will be for her to be included fully – not just to be known and liked, but to truly find “her people,” the ones with common interests that will be her close friends. Friday night’s band debut was just one half of one football game on one night in one season, but when I collected her at the end of halftime and saw the genuine joy on her face, I was encouraged.
Sarah Kate may find her tribe, after all.
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Don’t forget! If you’d like for me to share a photo of your “buddy” here on the blog for Down Syndrome Awareness Month, share it on my Facebook page by noon ET tomorrow, October 29 with your child’s name. No Facebook? Shoot me a message here and I’ll let you know where you can send your photo. Photos will be up on Thursday!
If it’s any help, I was in band for all 4 years of high school with CP, and I loved it. It was a bit difficult at times (like you said, CP isn’t always compatible with marching band), but I managed. My gait wasn’t good enough for me to march in games, so I usually helped out with the props for our marching show, or helped move pit equipment on and off the field. I went to all the practices, though, and played in the stands, which is really half the fun. Also, I do know one kid in another band who was in a power wheelchair, and he played trumpet with one hand and propelled his wheelchair with the other on the field. Really, the best thing I got out of it was all the camaraderie between friends, which it seems like Sarah Kate already has a start on. Best of luck!
Thank you SO MUCH for posting about your experience. I do want to know that there are options for Sarah Kate with band – being part of a group with the camaraderie of the common mission is so important.
As a former nerd who was in band (way different than a band nerd, IMHO, haha), way to go Sarah Kate! So glad she enjoyed it, playing in the stands is most of the fun of football games anyway – marching is really just an end to a means. I was in pit myself for a 2 years, and can attest to its fun. And as I try to remind all middle school band members, hang in there until high school… high school band is tons more fun than comparatively boring middle school. I hope she finds her place in band, it can be (can be, it has cliques like all kids) a more accepting group since it is a mesh of different groups of geeks that didn’t quite fit in anywhere else.
Her smile says it all! My daughter is in marching band also and one of her band mates uses a wheelchair and his service dog also assists him. He is a wonderful example of inclusion and first and foremost a talented musician.
That’s fantastic! What does the service dog do (as it relates to band)?
I can’t believe how grown up she looks in these pictures!! If you haven’t heard of Patrick Hughes at University of Louisville, he was in marching band. Blind and in a wheelchair, his father pushed in all the formations. It was truly amazing and spectacular!! (and I cheer for the blue KY team!) Here’s a link to one story – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/14/hero-dad-helps-disabled-s_n_1344933.html
Terrific! I’m gonna love these band posts if she sticks with it, since that was definitely my thing. Pit is certainly a great option if marching won’t work, but man would it be fun for her to march. And P.S. — Sarah Kate is GORGEOUS.
Thank you! I really hope she sticks with it. I was never in band, but I had friends who were and I know they really enjoyed the camaraderie. We did take my sister’s clarinet to the shop last week to be repaired (we’ve been renting one because I wanted to make sure she was really interested before I put money into refurbishing it). She loves music so it seems like a good fit!
Excellent to see a rolling clarinetist. And I love this sight. SK and I are both musically minded. I am the rolling broadcast and recording engineer. And audio buff and music buff since I was a toddler. Hope SK does very well in band.
LOVED reading about SK’s band experience!! She’s awesome!
And I have no doubt that she’ll find her “tribe.” I met one of my very best friends in middle school, and now I’m a junior in college — we go to different schools and we’re hours away from each other now, but she’s like a sister to me, and we always make time for Skype calls! One of the awesome things about CP — and I’m sure you’ve heard this before — is that we don’t attract the people who judge us because of our disability — and who would want to be friends with someone like that? Instead, we find friends who are genuine and who accept us for who we are. 🙂
I haven’t just heard it – I’ve experienced it! The same things happens to the moms. 🙂
The pictures of Sarah Kate made me smile and remember my own years as a band geek. I was equally nervous in sixth grade of looking like an idiot. I think these years are universally awkward and miserable, but she’ll be just fine. Anyone with that kind of spirit and enthusiasm won’t have any trouble finding a tribe.
Sarah Kate’s personality will get her close friends and followers. She’s a magnet for people and for relationships. And she’s really something. I enjoy seeing her in that realm.
I LOVE BAND!!!!!!! I am an autistic flutist and our marching season is still continuing! My favorite song that we play is called “Jump, Jive, and Wail.”
Fantastic, Anna!
Sarah Kate looks like she is having a blast and fitting right in! And actually, a few grades down from me a guy was in the band who was in a motorized wheelchair. He chose to play at the sidelines with the pit-the xylophones, etc and he also played clarinet. So it has definitely been done before! I think she would love it. She may not always get to march all the time but I think she shouldn’t miss out on such a fun experience. Plus there are all those fun trips Mom! 🙂