Did you miss part 1 on Tuesday? Go here to get caught up.
Do you know what’s on the other side of that concrete rail?
That’s right. NOTHING.
I’m not going to sugarcoat things and claim that once we got to our seats I wasn’t nervous anymore. I was scared witless. Mr. Andi tried very hard not to roll his eyes at me while I tried equally as hard to convince him that I was indeed NOT KIDDING about being fearful that Nathan would plummet to his death onto the spectators below.
Thankfully, there was no plummeting, although an unsuspecting football fan was surprised with a gift from on high (the shaker pictured above) before the night was out. Sorry, Unidentified Fan in the Lower Deck Near the 40 Yard Line.
The pregame festivities brought a flood of memories.
The marching band with the trademark “AU”, the sight of thousands of fans donned in navy blue and burnt orange, and the familiar “Bodda Getta” cheer, which I realized Sarah Kate had never learned, engulfed me, and it was topped off by a special ceremony honoring the 1983 team. In 1983, I was thirteen and a devoted fan of the Tigers. I wrote an editorial to The Birmingham News about that team; it was printed and I received a letter from then-Head Coach Pat Dye in response. 1983 was the first year that I knew in my heart I wanted to attend Auburn University.
Five years later, I moved into the dorm next door to the stadium.
It wasn’t just nostalgia, though, that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was wondering if there’s any chance my children will have the same opportunity to love Auburn that I had. We navigated Game Day successfully, but we confined our movement to a tiny sliver of campus, and that sliver was a challenge. I loved my big-college experience, but I wonder if a big college is practical – or even possible – for Sarah Kate.
Then there’s Nathan.
It doesn’t take a college degree to be happy or successful. I know in my head and accept as fact that a college education is not for everyone. But for someone who spent over three decades being the “smart girl” destined for the “career track”, that knowledge is a tough pill to swallow when it comes to my own children. Not everything about my four years of college was positive, but at the end of it I had grown as a person, made lifelong friendships, and was a part of something bigger than myself.
But it’s not just my kids’ prospects that upset my apple cart on Saturday.
Going “home” to Auburn, where so much was so familiar and everything from Momma Goldberg’s to the eagle to the band to the fight song, reminded me of everything that I gave up to become who I am today. Eleven years ago, I was a young urban professional with an executive mentor, a bright future, and an expanding baby bump. Today I write for a medium-ish blog, fold laundry, spend hours in therapy waiting rooms, and try not to look too hard at the two diplomas hanging on the wall near my desk.
But just as quickly as the tears formed in my eyes, they were gone.
I made up for lost time in teaching Sarah Kate the rules of college football, tweeted for a chance to be featured on the jumbotron when she asked me to, and laughed as Nathan screamed “GO!” over and over again – during the warmups. I chatted with the folks behind us, asked Sarah Kate to pray for the FAU player who was injured in the first half, and admired the loyalty of the microscopic band of FAU fans gathered in support of their team.
I ceased my preoccupation with the future and the past, and resolved to live in the present, even if just for a few hours.
And in those few hours, I remembered another dream that I had back when I was a college student: that one day I’d return with my family to enjoy the sights and sounds of Game Day, belting out the fight song and brandishing our shakers, proud to be Auburn Tigers.
That dream came true.
As far as navigating a big college campus goes, I’m here to attest that it’s definitely possible for people like Sarah Kate to attend a big university, if that’s what she wants to do. I have CP that’s very similar to hers, and am now a freshman at the University of Texas at Austin, one of the biggest public universities in the South . I did originally consider smaller colleges, but now that I’ve ended up here, I’m really enjoying the experience. It does take a little bit more planning and time to get around campus, but it’s doable. Also, many larger universities have more resources to help students with disabilities (such as a ride system or buses), while smaller colleges may not be as accessible. Just something to think about.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Natalie. I love hearing from adults with CP who can give me some insight into what Sarah Kate’s future might look like. And, yes, Auburn does have a bus system! I always forget about it because it didn’t exist back in my day. 🙂
Beautiful reflection!! It looks like you guys had a great time. I would have been terrified of the seating as well honestly, but thankfully no worries!!!
Andi,
Your post immediately made me think about our LIVES program here at SUNY Geneseo. http://www.geneseo.edu/lives. It’s a unique program for area young adults with developmental disabilities to gain additional life skills while being part of a college campus environment…their classroom(s) are here, they dine here during the day, and they have college student mentors who involve them in college extracurriculars. It’s been a successful partnership.
It’s funny because any outing now with my daughter really forces me to plan ahead (walker, stroller, wagon, all of the above!) have you made any modifications to your home to be more accessible for sarah kate? we’re currently renting but we imagine our dream home would be adapted for my daughter…just curious if you’ve done anything in your home for the kiddos…
Not really – we are fortunate that we were able to buy this house with full knowledge of what we (she) needed. You may have seen photos of the front before; there are two steps up to the porch. However, from the garage into the house it’s only a very step over the threshold, and that’s the door she uses most often. In back it’s only one step down to the backyard and she can hold a column or wall if needed.
The house we lived in when she was born would have been a nightmare – two stories with a basement (including basement garage) with all the bedrooms up. 🙁 That was fairly typical in Birmingham where we lived at that time. In this area, basements are rare.
One thing we have done is get a shower seat for her so she doesn’t have to worry about slipping, but that was a simple and cheap fix.