Nathan started public preschool a few weeks ago, and it’s been a positive addition to our routine.
He enjoys it, just as he has enjoyed the private preschool he’s been attending since last summer, and I’m happy that he’s getting more targeted help with his challenge areas.
It helps me, too, because although he’s a sweet, funny, pleasant, and enjoyable child, he’s not much into playing alone, so it was hard to get things done that needed doing within the scant eight hours per week he was at school before – now his combined preschool time is fifteen hours, which opens up whole new worlds for mom.
His private preschool sends home info sheets each day, letting me know how he played, what his mood was (I don’t remember a single time that the words “happy” and “playful” weren’t circled), and – of course – whether he pottied. The new public preschool sends home something similar, but much more detailed to address all of his developmental areas.
Much like the private preschool sheet, he’s described as “happy,” and most of the rest of the sheet reads pretty much exactly like I’d expect. But there’s one line on that piece of paper that bugs me every time.
Speech was: spontaneous / jargon / mimic / nonverbal / sign
The “nonverbal” option is always the one chosen. And it drives me nuts.
It’s no secret that Nathan’s speech is delayed and his articulation is not great. But he definitely is NOT nonverbal. He sings in the car and around the house (random words here and there, but still…), asks for Goldfish crackers, milk, and juice (and songs!), knows and names all the letters of the alphabet, counts to five consistently and to ten most of the time.
But at school, he’s mute.
I’m not sure if he’s shy (as if!), thinks he doesn’t need to talk to folks outside of our house, or is unsure of his ability to speak and be understood by non-family. I do know that it’s not just because he’s in a new place with new people, because he’s the same way at the private preschool.
It’s frustrating.
Frustrating because I removed “will recognize letters” from his IEP but the teacher just has to take my word for it that he knows them. Frustrated because the speech therapist told me it’s clear that his receptive communication skills are great (i.e., he understands a lot of words, but doesn’t say any). Frustrated because I know he needs additional speech therapy but I wonder how much good it’ll do him if he’s completely silent with the therapist the way he is with the one at preschool.
I try to wrap up most of my blog posts with a positive message, or a question to ponder, or a lesson learned, or…something, but today I’ve got nothing. I’m just frustrated. But there’s a little piece of me that remembers that at the same age, Sarah Kate wasn’t walking yet.
Speech is a category on a daily note in preschool? That is detailed. I used to have to write that kind of stuff in, which I rarely did. I had a kid in a class once who just never spoke (even at home). No one knew why & he’s such a great kid. His mom was about to stop ST & one day he just stated talking. No one had told me he had started talking (I was a sub) and we were outside when he said “helicopter.” I almost fainted. Don’t give up. It’ll happen.
Only in the public preschool, because it’s geared toward children with developmental delays. I don’t know if you saw the comment below from Katie (she is a friend IRL), but her mom always says that she started talking in paragraphs after four years of nothing.
When Em started school they had her in the morning class. A few months in, they reported she was non-verbal and refused to sign. During the teacher’s home visit, Em opened the door and said/signed, “Hi! Wanna see my room??” The teacher was floored. They’re wasn’t a single verbal or signing kid in the morning class. They moved her to the afternoon class full of talkers and signers and Em jumped right in!
How strange. I can understand your frustration. I can also try to reassure you that it will happen. Everything Carson does seems to come on very suddenly. I think he is never going to do it and then BAM, he jumps right in! I have a feeling Nathan will warm up to speaking in front of others at school. I can’t imagine what the reason is for him not talking, but he will. I sat and read Carson’s evaluation from January while I was waiting for him during his speech therapy this morning, and I was blown away. The report said he had a SEVERE delay in receptive and expressive language. SEVERE was the word they used. And they put a number to it equivalent to age 1 year, 10 months! He was 3 years and 4 months old in January! WHAT?! His speech is not THAT BAD!!! He’s talking so much more now it is amazing, and it just happened. Nathan will too, don’t worry! 🙂 Hope your day gets better!
Have you heard of selective mutism? Some kiddos have a very hard time talking under certain circumstances. Most move past it and/or grow out of it, but it can be incredibly frustrating. Hugs and good luck!
I had not heard of it before, but I looked it up and it sort of sounds like him but not really. From what I read, it’s caused by social anxiety, which he doesn’t seem to have AT ALL. It’s more a matter of him just taking things in and choosing not to talk.
My son is the same way so I have volunteered to go to school with Brendon one day a week to see if that helps. If you are able to find better solutions please feel free to let me know. Good luck.
This was our Sarah. At home she sang, danced, pointed out things in her books, talked aloud while playing. But at school – nada. When one of us was in the classroom, or along on field trips – she’d chat with us. The Speech Therapist would nonchalantly sit next to us and observe….then she’d (Speech Therapist) got all the info she needed on how speech was coming along.
Nathan goes out in the backyard and preaches. 🙂 At least, that’s what we call it. He not only talks (jargon, not sentences), but waves his arms around like he’s making a point. In Wal-Mart the other day he held his hand up to his ear for about ten minutes and acted like he was talking on a phone. He was so loud I had to shush him several times.
The more I have thought about it since I published this post, the more I think he’s timid because he’s not confident in how he pronounces words. We (mostly) understand him at home, so it’s easier for him to talk to us. BUT…if he’s trying to pronounce a new word he’ll whisper it until he gets the hang of it.
In the early years my youngest would never talk at school. They would ask me at every IEP and every opportunity if he was talking at home. I would reassure them he talks at home constantly. In fact it was if he kept it bottled up all day and wouldn’t stop at home. He eventually started talking to other kids and the teachers would go get as close as possible without being seen to have a record of his progression. He is 10 now. Still very quiet at school but it hasn’t gotten better over time. Don’t lose heart – he will come around to it in his own time.
I didn’t speak until I was 4. When I started talking I was doing so in complete sentences. Mom and Dad decided I didn’t want to talk until I knew for sure what I was saying was right.
I remember them telling me that before. Knowing the adult you, I’d say that was perfectly appropriate. 🙂
My sister had no problems talking but didn’t like talking to adults. The story my mom tells is that a friend of hers babysat my sister one day and Laura did nothing but point and nod or shake her head, but the minute they picked up the lady’s brother from school she would talk non stop to him. It took her a long time before she would talk to adults… probably 1/2 way through her kindergarten year…