Update (April 2019): Despite being over seven years old, this post still gets a lot of traffic, which is surprising. The crux of the piece was about how my style is different from hers – it wasn’t a judgment, just an observation – and I wrote it because people frequently asked my opinion of her blog. It’s important to note, as well, that Kelle and I have both evolved in our writing style and in our emphasis as our children have grown, so I might not say the same things today that I said back then.
Feel free to read on, but first keep in mind the following: (1) If you found this post because you dislike her blog/style/whatever and are looking for a kindred spirit in your dislike, I’m not it. (2) If you love someone with Down syndrome, it might be more helpful to read what I’ve written about my son, Nathan, and Down syndrome, than what I thought about Kelle Hampton’s blog back in 2011.
Pax Christi,
Andi
Shortly after giving birth to a baby with Down syndrome, while searching the internet for information, odds are you’ll find Kelle Hampton’s blog. When you decide to search for it again later, you’ll probably see one of these two suggestions from Google: “Kelle Hampton annoying” or “I hate Kelle Hampton”.
So…who is Kelle Hampton?
Kelle Hampton is a blogger, photographer, and mom of two, the youngest of which has Down syndrome (sound familiar?) She takes her children to the park and to tea parties. She makes Dora cupcakes and goes on picnics. She always has time to drop what she’s doing to meet her friends (with kids in tow) for lunch or a few hours on the beach. She lives in south Florida, so the weather is always prime for shooting. I love to look at her photographs. But I rarely read what she writes – most of the time I barely skim the words.
But I don’t hate Kelle Hampton’s blog.
Kelle Hampton shows the world a slice of life of which Down syndrome is one small ingredient. She told her daughter’s birth story to the world through her blog, and although it’s very different from my own, it rings true for many, many mothers of children with Down syndrome. She is an inspiration for many, and for that I respect and appreciate her.
But I probably couldn’t be Kelle Hampton’s friend.
My purpose here is to be a source of encouragement. Often, that encouragement comes in the form of positive, feel-good posts, because I believe that my life is good. Like Kelle, I “enjoy the small things” each and every day because of my very special children. But sometimes that encouragement comes in the form of heartache and pain, because I believe that sometimes people just want to know that others understand the dark places deep inside them. By contrast, Kelle’s blog is perpetually positive. Her photographs are lovely, and her life is visually perfect.
And I think that Kelle Hampton’s blog is a little bit dangerous.
Being a mom – with or without non-typical children – is hard work. It isn’t rainbows and unicorns and perfectly-iced Dora cupcakes. Her children are beautiful, and special, and worthy of love, but they can’t possibly be perfect. Down syndrome isn’t a tragedy, but it also isn’t all magic and love and joy and gratitude.
I’m not saying that Kelle Hampton is a pretender.
Maybe she truly is that uber-positive and maybe she really never does have a Bad Mom Day. What I am saying is that by only showing people the positive, she’s (at best) inauthentic, or (at worst) she’s doing the rest of us imperfect moms a disservice. When you’re a mom of a kid with special needs, people tend to put you on a pedestal. They admire you from afar and say things like, “God only gives special children to special people,” while simultaneously thanking their lucky stars that they aren’t you, because they “couldn’t handle it.” We aren’t worthy of the pedestal, and we handle it not because we’re strong, but because it’s the hand we’ve been dealt.
Kelle Hampton “handles it” with style and a perpetually sunny disposition. I “handle it” without makeup and with a lot of frustration. We both have something to say to the world about living life as a mom with a child with Down syndrome.
So I don’t hate Kelle Hampton, but I’ll only skim her perky prose – after I post a few pictures of my perfect kid baking perfect cookies. 🙂
Tell me how you feel. Is perpetually perky a good thing or a bad thing? Do you prefer blogs that are uber-positive, or warts-and-all?
Update (12/21/11): Some of the comments have become a bit too negative and personal for my comfort. I want to keep comments on this post open because I believe there is valuable conversation going on about “warts-and-all vs. uber-positive.” However, I don’t wish for it to become the place where people attack me, KH, or other commenters. If you’ve come here with an agenda, don’t bother to comment. Otherwise, I welcome your perspective.
In other words – it’s my blog and I’ll delete if I want to.
Update (2/5/12): Comments have been closed. See my final reply below.
Beth says
I love Kelle Hampton and her blog, but sometimes I wish she would write more about Down syndrome. I think her being happy all the time sometimes gives be a boost doing the day, because I am the complete opposite (just barely squeaking by every day).
Andi says
I’m glad you get encouragement from her blog – I have a hard time mustering anything other than feelings of inadequacy! As the title of the post here says, I don’t hate her blog – I just have a hard time connecting with her.
Anna says
The title is what made me read it. Your realness is what draws me to you. And though it all you manage to be real, inspirational AND positive!
I had never heard of who you spoke of and probably won’t look her up. Real and positive are always appealing to read. Always real positive is fiction.
(I’ve never commented on a blog before hehe. Thankfully I’m too busy to make it a habit!)
rita rebello says
I give you much respect for being honest. It takes a big person to be that honest. I am a mom of four ( 5 and under) one of my 3 year old twins has Down Syndrome. people ask my daily, how do you do it? Well… you just do it. and most of the time it’s hard and frustrating but what other choice do we have but to just do. would I trade it for anything in the world. No WAY! not even on my worst day! thanks for your honesty. it’s refreshing.
Andi says
One woman’s honesty is another woman’s negativity, of course. 🙂
k says
It’s funny, because I’ve heard this about Kelle before. I do subscribe to her blog but sometimes I wonder why I do because I constantly feel inadequate. Especially on days when I leave my crappy job to go home and make hot dogs for my five year olds while trying to figure out what on earth we have in the house to use for their art homework because we are both state workers and pay day doesn’t come until the first and we had to buy school uniform pieces instead of splurging at Michaels on craft stuff.
I prefer REAL. Which is why I read Kelle and appreciate the quality of the photographs and that’s about it. Because nobody’s life is that perfect. And I tend to wonder, if she’s spending so much time trying to get those perfect photographs, how much time is she actually spending WITH the girls enjoying them (I can be guilty of living through the camera lens and I don’t get 1/10th the number of amazing shots she seems to).
I think bloggers, especially bloggers in minority groups (parents of children with special needs, Gay and Lesbian parents, people with chronic illness, etc…) have a tendency to feel compelled to only present the positive in their lives, or to sugar coat things, out of fear of being labelled ungrateful, bitter, etc… But the problem is that other people in those minority groups seek out bloggers as a way to feel less alone, and when we present only the moonlight and roses side of things we do us all a disservice.
Andi says
I saw your post that followed mine – I was a little bit afraid to hit “publish” because I imagined I was going to be flamed, and that I might alienate some of my regular readers. I’m glad to know that there are some other folks out there like me who can’t relate to relentlessly positive energy.
If anyone is reading this comment and would like to read more about what k said on her blog, you can find her post here:
http://loveandchaosreign.wordpress.com/2011/10/18/imperfect-blogging/
Anna Theurer says
You sure know how to catch readers with your blog post title 🙂 I no longer read Kelle’s blog. I do look at the photos because I think that she is an awesome photographer. I just cannot identify with her. It is nothing personal, but my life is so different. That and I am try to cut back on internet time 🙂 I like how honest your are and how you are not afraid to state your feelings. I love your pictures of your “perfect kids making perfect cookies”.
Andi says
If that title doesn’t buy me some Google juice, I don’t know what will! 😉 Honestly, though, I wrote this post because I kept seeing her blog recommended to new moms of kids with Ds, and I felt like maybe – just maybe – it wasn’t the kind of thing everyone would appreciate. The people who like her are pretty devoted, so I just thought maybe I could present a different perspective (without the open hostility that I’ve seen on some other sites that are written by non-fans).
Melissa says
Yep, totally with you on this one. Her photos are beautiful, but I often find myself marking weeks of her posts ‘read’ without actually looking at them. There are only so many tea parties I can handle.
Our life is good. And my blog usually reflects the happy times, because that’s what most of them are. But it’s not all sunshine and roses in my house!
Kelley Yontz says
I love how you keep it real. I have never heard of that person. I thing in our own way we all deal with the fact that we are parents of a child/children with a disability. It’s not an easy road and I can’t stand it when people say “I don’t know how you do it.” I am a mother of 3 very active girls: 11, 6 1/2 and 19 month. I was told after my first daughter I would never be able to have anymore children because of major female issues but I had 2 more and my last one was a big surprise and her been born with Down Syndrome was a moment that I can’t fully explain unless you have been there in that room and get to see your new baby for the first time and you know that she has Down Syndrome and you don’t say anything because you hope it’s just a dream. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but I know I don’t have those perfect days and I have my moments of what if and I can be sad at times when I see other children her age and wonder how life would be different without speech/physical/occupational therapy, cardiologist, developmental specialist, early intervention, IEP, neurologist, hearing and vision test, blood work. . . I could go on and on but then if I wished it all away I would not get my ray of “Sunshine” everyday. I think sometimes we tend to make it look easy and others that don’t live our life will always wonder how we do it and even say they could never do it. I know because I once thought the same thing, because my very good friend had been showing me the way for several years. I thank God everyday for her wisdom and insight because I don’t think I could have made it without her. I also know from my own personal experience I try to be very positive with family because they were the ones that would upset me the most. All the things that are on those list of what not to say to parents when their child is born with a disability I heard from my one family. It was heartbreaking to hear, but I feel 19 months later I have hopefully changed their minds about Down Syndrome and also educated them on what to say or not say. I will never claim to be the perfect Mom or wife, but I will always say “LIFE IS GOOD” no matter what because that simple little phrase has gotten me thru some pretty tough times.
Andi says
Thanks for sharing, Kelley, and for being so open about the good, bad, and ugly in your life. LIFE IS GOOD but that doesn’t mean it is easy.
Kelley Yontz says
I totally agree Life is not easy and as Kathy said it can be very frustrating and for me has been confusing. I have never been and do not plan to get up on any pedestal. I don’t need that pedestal and anyone to say “I don’t know how you do it.” Because just like every Mother out there, I get up every morning take a breathe and put one foot in front of the other and just do it. I may not like the hand I have been dealt but that is life and it’s not always fair or easy and I can admit that I get jealous of other parents that don’t have to deal with all the extra stuff because they have “typical” children. After my surgery this summer I learned just how lucky I am and what an awesome family I have and it’s ok for Mom to not do everything.
A reader says
I actually am kind of saddened by this post. I read Kelle’s blog (which led me to find other bloggers who write about Down Syndrome, like yours), and I have always loved it. I do read her words (and maybe that’s why you don’t like it?), and I think they are eloquent and beautiful. You only have to read the post when Nella was born to know she isn’t all sunshine and roses. There are several posts where she admits things aren’t perfect. And though I understand how easily it is to compare yourself to other bloggers (I’ll never have a nice house like her, or afford anything she can), I like the photos and the stories that go with them. I don’t see how she is harmful, and I think bloggers should be encouraging each other, not tearing each other down.
Andi says
I agree with you that Kelle’s prose is beautiful and eloquent, and I think that’s what gets me – it’s a little “too” beautiful. I hope that she truly is that positive of a person – I’m not that person at all, though I do try to find the good side of even a terrible situation. I have read Nella’s birth story, and I believe it is – hands down! – the best thing I’ve ever read on her site. But of course the reason I like it is because it’s real, raw, and emotional (in stark contrast to almost everything else I’ve read on her blog).
I hope that you don’t feel I’m tearing Kelle down – that wasn’t my intent at all (and believe me when I say there are some sites that definitely do that). I just felt like there were probably some moms like me out there that were thinking “Am I the only one that can’t relate to this woman?”
Thank you for being honest with me that you disagree, but don’t be sad! There’s plenty of room in the blogosphere for KH and me, and as I said in the post above, I believe we both have something valuable to contribute to the Ds community.
wendy at mama one to three says
I don’t know her blog, and I’ll prob check it out now, but I just like you so much. I so get what you’re saying, as much as I relate to the mothering part, and not the special needs part. I think there is a wide range of mom bloggers out here. I also don’t feel connected to the ones that are always perfect and positive–and that’s how I am in real life too. You can see from MY blog that I tend to go to the dark side & see where the light is from there. cheers,
wendy at mama one to three says
so I just checked out her blog. it is beautiful. I want to add that her youngest’s birth story had me weeping. I am an outsider on this subject though. We all have our favorite blogs; we don’t connect with everyone. that’s cool and I still adore you lots. xo
Andi says
Nella’s birth story, as I mentioned in my reply to the previous commenter, is the best piece on the blog (in my humble opinion) – but of course I think that because it’s NOT uber-positive from start to finish. If she brings cheer to someone else’s day, then more power to her!
Kathy says
I love that you jumped off the pedestal. I, too, try to be positive most of the time, but do believe that it is important for people to see the frustrating part of, in our case, autism. And believe me, there is plenty that is frustrating.
maggie says
my sentiments exactly. i had this debate with a friend of mine who also has a child with down syndrome. i don’t want all puppy dogs and rainbows. i want the truth, good and bad, because THAT is life. my favorite blogs show just that. my friend, on the other hand, contends that happier blogs give hope to those who just had a child with down syndrome and that they don’t need to see all the medical side of it. she is a fan of KH. I am not.
maggie says
my sentiments exactly. i had this debate with a friend of mine who also has a child with down syndrome. i don’t want all puppy dogs and rainbows. i want the truth, good and bad, because THAT is life. my favorite blogs show just that. my friend, on the other hand, contends that happier blogs give hope to those who just had a child with down syndrome and that they don’t need to see all the medical side of it. she is a fan of KH. I am not
Andi says
What you said perfectly illustrates something really great about this whole KH discussion. For someone like me, her blog seems completely unreal and unrelatable – if anything, it would make someone like me feel worse, not better. But as Beth pointed out in the first comment, she gives some people a boost.
I agree with your friend about all of the medical stuff – one thing I like about KH is that her blog isn’t so serious about issues all the time (something that I struggle with here, because I don’t like to live in the “issues” but am also not comfortable ignoring them, either).
Jenny says
I prefer real. I couldn’t agree with you more on all of your points here.
starrlife says
Well, this had me cracking up! You are too much! In a good way. I really am not good at perkiness – most people complain that I am a bit intense. I too have Kelle in my reader. Irresistible but I get wayyyyy too jealous to tolerate it for long. Live on a beach? Play all day?
I also wonder where she gets the time and suspect it has a lot to do with vastly superior income to mine. But that being said- I’m glad she is there since I do see how she is a good ambassador for DS as well as seems like a genuinely nice person. And she takes wonderful photos. And she isn’t always perky in all of her posts. I guess what happens for me is that some bloggers become celebrities and then I stop reading them much – way too many commenters, not very personal – a bit like watching Little House On the Prairie? Life from a distance. What attracts me to a blogger most is the real life stuff, the whining, the snarky, the coffee Klatchness. Guess that’s why I stay off of the search engines eh – fear of celebrityhood (lol – laughs ironically).
Andi says
One thing that Kelle does for me (the title of this post was, after all, Why I DON’T Hate Kelle Hampton) is she makes me get outside more – we do live near the beach, in a really beautiful and unique town, and sometimes I get busy and forget to enjoy it. Now…the way she gets me to do this is by making me feel guilty, but whatever works, right?
And as much as I can’t relate, I am glad she’s out there.
Shauna says
I actually DO like KH’s blog, but it took me a looooong time to actually check it out because I was really turned off by how everyone gushed over her like she was the perfect icon of special needs mom. She’s just a mom, like me, only with a better camera :p But I do draw inspiration for her little bits of everyday sweetness that she show and I can read between the lines to see how she focuses on those to keep the bad days from overwhelming her.
Erin says
Andi-
Please tell me our emails weren’t prompting this!? LOL! How did I miss this the day you posted it?
Another reason why I LOVE YOUR BLOG! You are braver then me.
You know my thoughts on her blog. They are smimilar to yours. I’ll leave it at that.
-erin
Andi says
Yes and no. I’ve had this post in my queue for awhile, so I didn’t create it after I talked to you. BUT…our chats did push me to move it to the top of the list. 🙂
Meriah says
Big guffaws are being choked down here (I’m nursing Moxie and typing/reading over hr head on the phone). Brilliant post! I started feeling like something was wrong with me bc I seemed to be the only Peson in the whole entire Ds world who wasn’t kelle-crazy. So nice knowing I’m in good company! And it’s nothing so strong as hate, I get it, it’s more like, ‘dude when do you let off?! ‘ How can everything in one house be so sparkly?!
I like your blog – it’s nice to meet you!
Kristin says
Blog hopping by. Had to read this post based on the title. I don’t usually like ‘wordy’ blogs, so I too, usually just skim her blog. But I can’t stop following her gorgeous photography 🙂
val0552 says
Thank you for posting this, i found your blog for the first time as a result (go Google juice!;)
I have read KH’s blog and I have to say that reading it frequently makes me feel regret for not doing more with my children when they were young. My children are grown and I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources available to me at the time. Neither of my children has DS but I can only imagine that if that was the case I would feel a million times worse because I’m sure it is more challenging than what I faced I do think KH will be an ambassador for DS but I too wish she would share more of the “real” moments we all face every day.
Andi says
It’s interesting to me how some people are encouraged and others feel guilty when visiting her site. I don’t know what that says about any of us, other than we are all unique. 🙂 As the mom of a child with Down syndrome (who is very close in age to Nella), I can tell you that it really isn’t that much more challenging. Very little about my days with Nathan is different from that of my friends who have toddlers. In that respect, we are much more alike than different!
Lisa says
So nice to hear someone sound out about Kelle and her blog. I don’t know why I continue to read her blog because I feel that her life isn’t “real” it’s not how we moms live our days. I don’t have the time to drop everything and run to the beach or have tea parties. I do however have the time to devote to 10 therapy sessions per week to help my daughter thrive. I wish she would devote more time on DS issues.
observer says
To be completely honest, I get the impression Kelle Hampton was horrified when her daughter was born with Down Syndrome and is using her blog as a vehicle to get thousands of people to give her self-validation when all she really has to do is pull her head out of her ass and LOVE her beautiful child instead of pasting her happy red-lipsticked face all over the internet and expecting throngs of anonymous internet folks to tell her everything is okay.
Andi says
I’ve heard others say similar things about her. She obviously did have a difficult time after Nella was born – the birth story is one of the most real moments on the blog – but I cut her some slack there because her reaction is not unusual, if you’ve read many other stories of parents who gave birth to children with Down syndrome. I’m sure that she loves her daughter – I just wish she’d show us a little more reality.
Anne says
Observer…right on. I mean, this chick had FAVORS to had out at the baby’s birth and wore a freaking tiara. Oh please.
Denise says
She had that blog well before Nella was born, and she did not know her daughter had DS until she was born. The favors and tiara were obviously all in her birthing plan, obviously part of who she is. Over the top, maybe. Not something I would do…..but good for her for making the most out of life. Everyone on here seems to be so jealous and insecure.
maggie says
Yikes. Gotta be honest–all these posts I find littered around the web that are less than flattering to KH make me want to write one about how amazing she is. One of the reasons I blog is because it helps me focus on the great things that I have in my life amidst the really hard, sad, and difficult things. I don’t want to read posts about people having terrible days and whining and I don’t think others would either. She is a self-admitted glass half full kind of girl and has been since she was born. I’d bet that one of the ways she “copes” and handles some of the difficulties of having a special needs child and just being a mom is to focus, if just for a moment of her day when she does her posts, on the great things that are going on in her life. Funny how you can’t find any blogs out there condemning people who are always negative, down, and depressing–those people are just called funny, sarcastic, “real,” and relatable.
Is all this KH flack just jealousy?
Andi says
No. 🙂
Denise says
You might want to re think that answer…seems like a whole lot of jealousy floating around this blog.
dexter says
Of what?
Andi, I LOVE your blog. Specifically the genuine voice you used regarding KH. I understand your perspective & the KH FANatic army out there in blog land can be harsh, incredibly distasteful & in 1 or 2 cases one emails sent to one blogger wishing death on the bloggers unborn child while commenting on her toddler’s perceived lack of “looks”. Yes, a toddler. Her “fans”, “friends”, those she surrounds herself by, those she defines herself through & whatever else you want to label the rest: she & they ALL go a bit overboard which seems to be the general criteria in KH world anyway. Overcompensation simplified through Shakespeare-Doth Protest Too Much?
Birds of a feather…
I found your post on this particular subject very GRACEFULLY written. As a result, I have now become a fan. The good kind. Have a lovely Sunday!
Andi says
Thanks so much, dexter. I have been amazed at the traffic that this post continues to attract. I have not experienced any, er, fanatical commenters like you the ones you describe, and it saddens me that there would be people like that out there. It sounds a little like hero-worship, which doesn’t always turn out so well (see: Penn State). All people have faults, and it’s neither right nor fair to place someone on a pedestal like that. It’s like those balance/endurance challenges on Survivor – you can only balance on that tiny pedestal for so long.
Lauren says
Love Kelle and I love her blog. I do not have a child with Down Syndrome, but her blog encourages me to try and be a more involved, active mom. I work full time and have a 2 year old and 4 month old twins so it’s really hard. But her blog really does put it back into perspective for me, even if the perspective errs on the side of too positive as opposed to 100% authentic. I thank God for people like her, even is she is a little “too positive”… why would I want to spend my time reading someone’s blog if they were more negative? What good would that do? I get enough harsh reality in my own life… let me bask in other’s tea parties and impromptu beach romps while I try and figure out how to make those things happen for me and my family. Good for her.
Denise says
Well said Lauren.
New reader says
First of all, I was waiting for the inevitable “you must be jealous” comment. It seems that it’s impossible to express feelings about someone/thing that are less than stellar without being accused of being jealous.
I’m not jealous of Kelle. But I don’t think she is the cat’s pajamas, either. I think she is incredibly insecure and truly needs all the validation and constant butt kissing (for lack of a better phrase). I’m not a negative person at all, but it’s not realistic to be perfectly made up and coifed for every “spontaneous” photo shoot, especially when you are keeping up with small kids all day. I DO think she is a wonderful mother who truly gets joy from doing things with and for her kids, and that is certainly something to respect. But I am in the “she’s overcompensating” camp. We all do what we have to, I suppose.
I liked this post a lot because I thought you were honest without being mean. I thought it was a kind assessment of someone not on the bandwagon. Good for you 🙂
wz says
I’m with you on this. I personally do not have a special needs child, however, reading about others’ always-sparkly lives has always been a bad thing for me. KH represents too many moms I have encountered who try to always look like they have everything together. I find myself being one of the only ones that will be open and honest about struggle and growth! For me, it is really not a matter of jealousy as much as it is an issue of authenticity. I prefer to get deep with people, ugliness and all, as opposed to wearing masks around each other, acting as if all is wonderful. So far, I have actually found better mom-friends with women who have “already been-there-done-that” than ones my own age. I wish people would just be real. Be honest. It’s hard. Thanks to you for being constructive about this. Your authenticity rocks! 🙂
Andi says
Thanks, guys, for chiming in and letting me know how you feel about uber-positive versus warts-and-all. I don’t know if other people are jealous of KH, but I do know that I am not. I’m glad that some people are encouraged by her blog, but I also know that I’m not. I want to interact with people who are relatable, and I would have a hard time being close to someone who never had (or more likely, never was willing to share) a bad moment. But I am appreciative of the fact that on some level she does project a positive view of Down syndrome – hence the title of this post: Why I Don’t Hate KH (But probably Couldn’t Be Her Friend, Either).
Shasta Kearns Moore says
Love it.
Linda says
Love it. You were not critical, just honest. I have met Kelle and she seems very sweet. I know people get annoyed with her unicorns and rainbows talk and how she rarely talks about the tough stuff that can come along with having a child with DS. I honestly believe that she hasn’t encountered a lot of it yet because Nella is so young. I hope she starts sharing the tough stuff. I also hope that if/when she does, the community rallies around her because we all need each other.
So happy I found your blog. I am a fan.
Andi says
Agreed!
Cathy says
I only came across this because I was looking up something about Kelle Hampton. I have been reading her blog for almost a year now. I absolutely love it. She is the kind of mom I aspire to be one day when I have my own kids. I can see why someone may see her as a poser of some sort but I think the reason is not a good one. Kelley’s blog is positive because that is the nature of her website! She is a writer choosing to share parts of her life with us, just like any blogger does. You pick and choose; some use blogging to vent, others to ibspire, others to make people laugh. Her life does seem perfect at times but its not. When visiting her blog, I feel happy and wishful and find myself noticing the small things too.
Andi says
You make an excellent point, Cathy, about how bloggers choose to share parts of their lives. Although I tend to share more of what I call “real life” here, I do get emails and comments sometimes that demonstrate to me that what I *think* I am showing the world isn’t necessarily what people see. For example, I’ve been told I must be really energetic – nothing could be further from the truth, LOL!
Holly says
I love her blog too although I have sort of a love/hate relationship with it. I mostly really enjoy it. It loosens me up. She lets her kids jump on the bed. Maybe next time I will jump with my kids instead of saying ‘no jumping on the bed’. I would have never thought to decorate my child’s wagon for Christmas or give her a tree for her room. These extra little things i really love. Her blog does exactly what it is supposed to do- celebrate the little things. For all of you putting trips on yourself you should stop. It is human nature I guess to tear down those with a winning attitude. I don’t know Kelle at all but I have read about her miscarriages and that alone puts her life in perspective for me. Desperately trying to get pregnant each month ( my own experience). I can only imagine the heartache she feels frequently. A husband that works a lot? Tough stuff. A gay father that left the family? Geez louise. She’s vulnerable and human like the rest of us folks. I have no idea why I felt the need to post here. As I said, there are parts of her blog I dislike- especially the constant fishing for sponsers. Anyway, I came upon your blog from it and I like your blog too. More to read. 🙂
Andi says
Thanks for visiting, Holly. I am like you in that I have a love/hate relationship with her blog. It’s still in my reader, but it also drives me a little bonkers. 😉
Jacqui says
Wow. I have read Kelle’s blog for almost two years now and seriously do love her posts and photos. I myself am an incurable optimist who still has had times of wallowing in the muck that life sometimes gives us….. I have read the comments that Kelle is looking for attention and validation for’insecurity’….. Using her name and the word ‘hate’ in this blog is not attention seeking? Kelle may choose to see the sunshine instead of the dark most days but she never uses her blog to demean the value of anyone else’s thoughts. I was frankly shocked to see this site listed in a search…. I would ask you to use your own name and share your thoughts in that authentic way instead of using this forum to encourage hurtful comments for someone who is after all just like us just trying to be a good Momma. Peace and wishes for beautiful & loving holidays to you all.
Andi says
I’m not quite sure if you’re directing your comment to me or to the other commenters, or if perhaps you’ve confused what I’ve said with what some others have said. Regardless, I’ll take a moment to respond.
If you’ll read back through my post, I specifically noted things that I liked about KH’s blog, was very clear to point out that I don’t “hate” her (that word was chosen specifically because of what I stumbled across in my Google search about KH way back when, which I noted in the opening paragraph), and I didn’t encourage anyone to attack her – I merely asked my readers whether they preferred “uber-positive or warts-and-all” when reading.
The point I wanted everyone to understand, no matter which “camp” they fall in (I didn’t create the Google results) is that I believe that we both have something valuable to say.
Jacqui says
….perhaps I’m confused…..
Andi says
There are quite a few comments here – yays, nays, and everything in between. It’s easy to do. 🙂
Thanks for visiting!
Denise says
I think her point is by using Kelle’s name and the word hate in your blog title is attention seeking in itself. And also that Kelle has not written one post demeaning or putting down another persons blog. Which shows character that some others may lack. If you read her posts pre Nella, it is obvious that Kelle is real, maybe over the top and has sunshine coming out of her booty 24/7 but obviously that is who she is. The fact that you took a whole blog post to try and put someone down that is “to” positive just is laugable. I think there are alot more things going on this world to put your attention towards than someone being to positive.
Andi says
If by “attention seeking” you mean “phrasing the title so as to position the post to maximize Google juice” then yes, I am. But that is all that the choice of title reflects. I see that you’ve chosen to spread your comments all up and down the page, so I’ll just respond to all of them here.
If you were to read through each comment that I personally have written, I believe you would be hard pressed to find any “ridicule” within my words. In fact, in many cases, I’ve specifically pointed out that I’m glad she’s out there in the blogosphere and noted what I do like about her blog. In addition, I moderated a comment that I felt crossed the line in its negativity.
I encourage you to re-read the post and my comments only – you may find that what you believe I have asserted here is not, in fact, my position at all.
Leah says
I’m a few months late to the game, but I had to comment. I’ve been following her blog since Nella was born. In all of the that time, I’ve never felt that she was a “poser” in any way. Honestly, I like going to a blog that isn’t all “bitch bitch this, and “whine and moan that.” I get tired of reading about how terrible everyone’s lives are. We all have problems and focusing on them constantly is just depressing.
In any case, I can say that she does not always focus on the positive. There have been moments she’s admitted weaknesses. She posts pictures of her house and it’s dirty. Her life isn’t perfect and I don’t think she tries to portray it that way. I think she’s just a glass is half full kind of person. I personally like her blog in that it reminds me to step back and try to enjoy time with my son rather than focus on the things that don’t matter.
As for her not discussing Nella and DS all of the time, I think part of it is that she doesn’t want to make their entire life about DS. Yes, they have a daughter with DS but that doesn’t mean that they have to sit and dwell on it.
Holly says
actually her house is beautiful even if she says it is dirty. Her blog is a step above most blogs IMO. She’d be Oprah’s love child if she was still on. 🙂
Rachel says
It is true that even in her birth story of Nella, she is definitely NOT sunshine and roses! She is totally honest. I’ve read her blog since she began her blog, almost 2 years before Nella was born. What I find amazing, is that her blog HAS NOT changed at all from before Nella’s birth unto now. She has always shown us her inspirations, from a date with her daughter to that next huge birthday party she’s planning. Her parties have always been huge, and she’s also always been honest. I find it sad that you don’t read her words. They certainly are not perky, perfect or anything like that. She is enjoying the small things amidst the world of mundane or negative and she is sharing the things on her blog that bring her joy, however small. Yes, she has her struggles and difficulties. But, I’m glad that she shares those with her immediate friends/family and not with the internet. That has never been a part of her blog.
Denise says
Well said Rachel
Ms. Kate says
Why even write this post? She is a mum with a blog. Who are you to say ANYTHING about her? And what’s it to you how she presents herself? Pathetic.
Andi says
I’m guessing you probably meant your questions to be rhetorical, but I’m choosing to respond, nonetheless.
Who am I and why did I write this post?
First – Well, I’m a mom with a blog, much like KH. I find beauty and joy in the everyday (see here, here, and here for a few examples) and I share those experiences here, but I also choose to write about the challenges that come with raising children with special needs (see here, here, and here for examples). I’m not sure if you read anything here other than this one post, but if you had, you would have found that I have not one child with a disability, but two, and it’s become painfully clear over the years that many in our society deem children with disabilities unworthy of life. Knowing that, I can’t in good conscience sit by and and not speak up – I believe the stakes are too high to be silent.
I choose to use my blog to raise awareness of issues like the r-word, the ethics of prenatal testing, and the power of language. And finally, I choose to write about things that aren’t “issues” at all that I think other people can relate to – the things that cause “mom guilt” like feeding my child popcorn for dinner, or wondering “is there something wrong with me?” because I stalked a young man with Down syndrome at Publix Supermarket, or didn’t love the unicorns-and-rainbows blog that everyone recommended to me.
So to answer your second question, I wrote this post for two reasons: (1) because I felt that some people could relate, which if you read through the comments, you’ll find that was the case, (2) because I wanted to know the opinions of my readers regarding uber-positive vs. warts-and-all. The answer to #2 is that everyone is looking for something different, which reinforced in my mind that I was right when I asserted in the original post that there’s room for both of us in the blogosphere.
Denise says
And KH’s blog, which was started well before the birth of Nella is about Enjoying the Small Things….which she writes about beautifuly. You choose to use your blog for one thing and she chooses to write about other things. She for one doesn’t choose to devote an entire post to ridicule a fellow blogger.
Jacqui says
Please end this thread.
get a load of Jacqui says
Who are you to tell her to end a thread you don’t agree with? Is that you Poppa?
Melissa D says
A little late but appreciated your post and wanted to respond. I’m a reader of Kelle Hampton and appreciate her point of view. I do think she’s a positive person to start with, which doesn’t always jive with everyone and that’s ok. I think there are 2 things to point out though that I haven’t seen mentioned though. First, the point of her blog is “enjoying the small things”, of course she posts the upbeat and fun pieces of her life. If her blog were titled “a honest look at my life” then it would be different. I don’t think she is attempting to convince anyone that her life is perfect or get validation, I think she’s choosing to share the good things- which is the point of her blog. Someone mentioned that it’s not real life to be able to drop what they are doing and go to the beach, etc but I think that’s a cop-out. I have 2 kids, work full time and run a business of my own, and I still manage to make time to do special things with my kids. Last Friday I shut my computer off 15 minutes early and took my kids on a sled to play in the in the little bit of snow we had on the ground. It was all of 20 minutes but I could write a blog post with pictures to make you think it was much more than that. My point? She’s makes time to do special things with her kids to make memories. Anyone can do that, it’s a matter of perspective. My second point is her blog is her job. She gets paid to post and attract readership- and I read it because I like seeing the fun things and places she does and goes. Does it make me feel inadequate? Not in the least- shes a stranger on the Internet who is providing a glimpse into her life. She writes well and takes pretty pictures and gets paid to do it. I don’t think anyone is jealous, I just think it’s worth stepping back and not taking it too seriously.
Jacqui says
Well said Melissa D. Love your post.
Andi says
Great contribution to the conversation, Melissa. Thank you for posting.
Melissa D says
Thanks Andi- I’ve bookmarked your blog so I can come back and read more. I’ve read a few of the KH “hate” threads (this is really lame but I usually do my blog reading on my phone and iPad when traveling and for some reason I always get to KH by googling and those come up too) and there is some really not nice stuff out there (shocks me I guess because its only a blog??) and I appreciated your approach and what you said makes sense. Different strokes for different folks- and I tell my 10 yr old all the time that we don’t have to be friends with everyone in the world (when he has troubles with his peers) but we should treat everyone with kindness and I thought you did that nicely. I follow Lil Blue Boo and reading everything she’s going through helps remind me that many things (like blogs) aren’t that serious! Anywho, I look forward to being a new reader.
Andi says
Welcome! What you tell your 10 yo is spot on, and is part of the greater message of THIS blog – respecting everyone, regardless of how they differ from you.
I look forward to your contribution here in the future.
Holly says
Yes, the point of her blog was mentioned- more than just by me I believe. 🙂
Melissa D says
Sorry Holly, I clearly missed it! I think I was formulating a response in my mind as I was reading- it happens.
Denise says
Well said Melissa D!!!! I have no idea why any woman who is trying her best for her family would let one woman’s positive blog make them feel inadequate or jealous. Life is what you make of it, I think that is KH’s point. And I love your insight into your life, how carving out 15 min for a sleigh ride is special time for your kids. I am sure that is all KH gets to do sometimes and that is all your kids need sometimes as well. She also posts on how some of her excursions don’t go so well, and ends in tired, crying kids etc. But because she tends to reflect on these moments in a positive way, after the fact, people don’t notice the fact that not everything is perfect.
Katie says
I have to admit that I love reading Kelle’s blog and looking at all the beautiful pictures she takes. But you really hit the nail on the head when you said the word “dangerous.” It would be really nice if she became more honest about motherhood because it’s not all picnics, tea times, etc. Sometimes being a mom really sucks. From her perspective it all seems so lovely and so very misleading. Great post by the way 🙂
Sarah T. says
I have never ever thought that being a mom sucks. Maybe she doesn’t either. But focusing on the positive and fun parts of parenting isn’t a bad thing.
Holly says
Do you guys seriously want pictures of her clogged toliets and kitchen trash? :-)(can you tell I looked around my own house for that?) Dangerous was an interesting adjective and caught my attention too but it really is how you perceive her blog. Go upstairs to my daughter’s room and I can make that small part of the house look great in a picture (maybe for an hour or so). It’s the SMALL things. 🙂
I love me a good kelle hampton debate though.
Holly says
oh, ETA: leaky kitchen trash..
Hampton has issues says
[Text copied and pasted from another site – removed by moderator for reasons cited in comment below]
Andi says
I will not allow information to be pasted here from another website that pertains to KH’s personal life – particularly her extended family. Although I would like to see her share her struggles more, I respect her decision not to do so. She chooses to blog…her family, not so much.
I’m (mostly) an open book, but there are some things I’m not ready to put out there, either, and I self-censor when it comes to family (although I have a wonderful family!)
hi andi says
[Removed by moderator]
Andi says
I want to keep comments on this post open because I believe there is valuable conversation going on about “warts-and-all vs. uber-positive.” However, I don’t wish for it to become the place where people attack me, KH, or other commenters.
In other words – it’s my blog and I’ll delete if I want to.
Denise says
I like the comments from people about being “jealous” of KH or her making them feel “inadequate”. If someone else can make you feel that way through a blog then I think your problems are greater than just not liking the constant positivity on KH’s blog. My life resembles nothing like KH’s life, I work full time and couldn’t do half the things that she does…..but her ability to do those things, whether she has more money than me or more patience etc. Does NOT make me jealous of her. I think she makes it very clear through her posts that she admires and respects all mothers and the struggles we all go through. And as one poster said above, do you want to see pictures of clogged toilets and dog poop on the ground? She shows plenty of pictures of piles of laundry and messy kitchens. But because she chooses to focus on the positive in her life and that around her on her blog seems perfectly fine to me. I mean with all the negativity in this world it is refreshing to see someone with her out take on life, even if it is just the piece that is through rose colored glasses. I don’t read blogs to get depressed and listen to the bad days that everyone else is having. Why does someone have to focus on the bad in life for you all to feel validated that your life isn’t really all that bad?
katie says
I love Kelle Hampton. My feeling is there is tons of heart ache to go around for all of us. I am a mom of 6, 5 boys and 1 daughter who happens to have down syndrome. I do not want to live my days around the pain. I want to remember the small things and know I did everything I could to be the best mom possible to all my kids. No regrets. I want to remember everything from the perfect cupcakes to the muddy shoes, everything. I really think that is all we all want.
Andi says
Here, here!
Sarah T. says
I feel the same way!!! ENJOY!
Holly says
Well we don’t live our lives always ‘on’. Her blog does appear like that. Today for my daughter’s first Christmas I was so proud to have charged the camera only to run out of memory after two or three shots. 🙂 That’s mostly my life. I try and I laughed thinking this would never happen to Kelle Hampton (and felt a little inadequate too). It’s all good! 🙂 Merry Christmas Andi.
Baby K's Mom says
I think it’s important to keep in mind that KH’s blog has morphed into something beyond a blog – it’s a brand. She has multiple sponsors, strategically placed endorsements of products, Hallmark sponsored posts, her kids often appear in the photos for ads for the brands she sponsors, an impending book. With that consided, it’s not just reading a blog when you stop by there…it’s about being sold an idea about motherhood and then being sold the products that can she endorses (so you too can achieve that platitude). To maintain that brand and business following, I think there is an expectation that each time you read it, that same idea is being delivered (because that’s the brand and that what she is capitalizing off of). It’s conspicuous consumption…something that has to be kept in mind when reading the blog.
I have a 2 yr old with a chronic, degenerative medical condition/birth defect. Between the weeks’s therapy sessions, follow up work, and Dr apts There isn’t much time for lots of other things. Getting online is a huge escape, like watching tv. But I often have to remind myself that what I am viewing isn’t necessarily real, and has to be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes it’s best to stay in my own reality.
Holly says
thank you for posting that!
Andi says
All great points, Baby K’s Mom!
Katie says
I have Kelle Hampton’s link in my blog. I like her. She’s cute. An amazing photographer and her kids are cute too. However… The main word that comes to mind when I think of her is: FAKE. The woman gave birth wearing a tiara. When she does the littlest activity with her kids she’s always wearing a perfectly thrown together outfit with loads of lipstick and perfect hair- and takes tons of pictures of herself like that too. It’s fun to look at- but its just not real. It’s like looking in a catalog- the clothes are beautiful, but I know they won’t look as good on me as they do the model. And that’s okay- because that’s real life!
I prefer more of a real approach myself. I don’t hate Kelle either- although I can’t help but suspect she is deeply insecure and looking for people to fawn all over her and give her approval?
Holly says
I think the comments from people are nuts. “Oh, didn’t know you were in town or I would have baked you a dozen homemade muffins, shined and waxed your car for you, hired a skywriter and got myself a brazillian wax!” 😉 They are sort of weird IMO. 🙂
Andi says
I’ve never read through the comments – maybe I need to do that!
Holly says
It is sort of like a train wreck. The comments when she went to San Diego and the zoo were very much like that. I’m just glad she didn’t divulge SD’s best kept secret (my favorite place)!!! She didn’t find it! 🙂
susan says
To read kelle’s blog and not understand her says so much more about the reader than it does about kelle, imho.
I once wrote a comment to her, “kelle, it not the STUFF of you i am attracted to rather the SOUL of you”
If we conclude that we cannot be a friend to someone before truly knowing them we sure erect a detour sign for LOVE’s potentials.
just sayin’,
susan
Sarah T. says
thanks, susan! a non-hater! 🙂
Jayne says
Someone who spends that much time posing her kids to get the perfect shot day in and day out is not truly spending time with their kids. They are simply props in her desperate game of attention. Her childhood was truly screwed up and in her we see the end result. Her blog is awful.
Sarah T. says
BS. Moms CAN enjoy their kids and capture that enjoyment. And good photographers don’t have to pose anyone. Just because you don’t enjoy your kids and mothering, doesn’t mean you should criticize those of us who do.
Jayne says
How dare you say I don’t enjoy my kids. You are a clueless ass for daring to judge me when you know nothing about me. I don’t have a blog where I advertsie my kids on a daily basis and pose them for 1,000 shots per week. That does NOT make a good mother. Clearly you fit the profile of Kelle’s followers. Pretty mindless.
Anonymous says
Going back to your post, rather than the comments…
You said “And I think that Kelle Hampton’s blog is a little bit dangerous.”
I completely agree.
Thank you.
I would never recommend her blog to a new or expectant parent of a child with Down syndrome. She seems to be clueless about real life mothering of a child with special needs and that’s dangerous. Why does NDSS support her? $$$$$ Why does KH support NDSS? National attention and exposure, and $$$.
Sarah T. says
This is ridiculous. How could you say that she doesn’t know about mothering a child with DS??? SHE HAS A CHILD WITH DS THAT SHE IS WITH 24/7. Perhaps she just happens to do it really well and has really embraced it and chooses not to focus on the negative. If more moms had her perspective, there would be less pissy entitled grumpy complaining moms.
Heather says
Mmm hmm, agreed. I’m not a mom of anyone, yet, but she’s got me petrified of it because I know I won’t be THAT perfect. I’m not a fan of the sunshine and rainbows all the time either. 😛
Vacious says
Funny that what draws me to Kelle’s blog is what turns so many off. My son does not have DS but he is developmentally delayed and hearing impaired (HOH).
I feel at times I have enough negative chatter in my head that I really want to see that someone isn’t letting the tough stuff knock them off their feet. When I’ve got the blues, I’m looking for someone to say, “yes, that stinks, but I wouldn’t let it stop me from oh say, throwing the most extravagant Christmas celebration ever!!”
Bottom line, there is room for all under this tent and I want someone to model how to be functional when I feel anything but as well as, someone to rub my back and say “me too! I was not the mom I intended to be today either but tomorrow we’ll get back in the saddle”. Why shun? I say read the blog that fits your mood/needs that day.
Sarah T. says
I love Kelle Hampton’s blog. It’s the only blog I read regularly and consistently. It resinates with me. I don’t feel inadequate, I feel encouraged and inspired. And if you really read it and keep up with it, she does share the hard stuff. And she’s very open about the fact that what she shares is only a very small piece of her life and her family’s life. She has real, legitimate struggles, but I don’t think it’s necessary for her to air all her dirty laundry just to make insecure moms feel better. Some people would rather focus on the positive, and the more you focus on the positive, the more dim the negative becomes. I just stumbled upon this blog and know nothing about it. But I have found it astonishing across the internet (not here) how much people seem to loathe positive, happy people. It’s puzzling to me.
Birdie says
“But I rarely read what she writes – most of the time I barely skim the words.”
You’ll find that there is often a lot of pain and heartache in Kelle’s posts, that is, if you ever bother to read the words.
I love her blog!
Lauren Pearson says
It is so fascinating to read the comments on this site, and to see this backlash against Kelle Hampton. I’m a massive fan of her blog, and also the mother of a child born with a disability. I wept when I came across Nella’s birth story, it was so beautifully written that I found myself in tears. (I work in publishing and actually wrote to Kelly some time ago about possibly doing a book–I was a bit late to the table!) I find it heartbreaking that people seem to feel comfortable saying that she isn’t portraying motherhood or special needs parenting in the ‘right’ way, i.e., it isn’t raw enough or painful enough. What Kelle does is provide a curated look at life with two children; yes, it is a particularly beautiful life, and yes, she probably leaves out the boring bits or some truly depressing bits–in fact she says as much. But she puts so much thought and effort into her photos and writing, it is a real gift to those of us who would rather just get on with the good things in life. Yes, mothers and carers need support and a sympathetic ear, but they also need beauty and reassurance that the world is and will continue to be a good place. If people don’t like Kelle Hampton, leave her to the millions that do, but this negativity is such a waste–why is it Kelle Hampton’s job to show enough misery to satisfy people who are clearly unhappy with some aspect of themselves? Use her blog as an escape, as inspiration, or don’t, if you want, but if you’re going out attacking her, as some on the internet are, I think you’ve got to look inward at why you’re threatened by someone who’s showing lovely, happy snapshots of motherhood.
Another Mom says
Count me in with the group that have lost the love for the KH website.
I loved the birth story, it was beautiful, raw, and honest. And it was one of the last pieces that I felt were truly authentic.
My issue isn’t that she is positive. I applaud that. It isn’t that she makes the best of what she was given. I applaud that as well.
What turns me off is that all of her “problems” are superficial. Smeared toe polish. Cookies that didn’t come out ok. the inevitable every so often messy house post.
But…
Nothing about anything truly hard. Nothing deep or painful that real people, with real children can relate to. Nothing about the miscarriage she wrote about on another site, or any arguments she may have had with her husband, or her frustration with her kid(s) for not posing perfectly on any given day, because you know, kids aren’t perfect. Not even hers.
As for the pictures…I take pictures. I am pretty darn good. And yeah, to get that many good ones, every single time, you are living life through a lens. Even the most talented photographers will tell you how many you must take to get the gems….and all of hers are gems, and she photographs everything.
FWIW, I don’t hate or even dislike Kelle. I think she is inspirational, pretty, and talented, for the most part. I take her for what she is, and when I need a boost, I head to her site to read it, because Kelle never really has a bad day. Seriously, 100% positive all the time. But, as others have stated, she is making a lot of money from the thousands that visit her blog, and she needs to maintain that image. Heck, I don’t blame her for that, either! More power to her–just by always being sunny and upbeat and, she and her husband can stay home indefinitely, and she doesn’t even have to take pictures professionally anymore. Good for her, but not “real life” for the vast majority, KWIM? Additionally, I think sometimes she is presenting a not-so-always-real insight into the truth of having a child with a disability. And that, I think, is why there are those who find her “dangerous”.
As for me, my polarizing moment, the one where I stopped thinking I needed to be more like this person was the one where she dropped her latte in Starbucks and rushed home to kiss her babies because her friend up north had a child die. And, like so many weekly happily ever after made for TV dramas, she had turned a child’s death into a win, win, win for the Hampton family, all in 20 minutes of blogging or less (with the requisite money-making “commercials” on the side bar of her blog). And that, friends, is where I stopped wishing I could be more like her. In that post, more than any others, she revealed her true nature as far as I was concerned.
As for those who are lashing out at the blogger here and other people on the net expressing their opinion? Guess what? They have one, just like you, and picture perfect Kelle isn’t going to lose sleep–nor money–over it, so neither should you. Not liking someone or something doesn’t always have to mean you are insecure or self-loathing, just like defending someone you have never met in real life and refusing to see any of the chinks in their armor doesn’t make you an obsessed maniacal cultish fan.
Please Consider says
May I humbly offer:
Sharing blogging philosophies, about what is helpful in our parenting journeys and what is dangerous, is welcome at the table.
Choosing to title a post with another blogger’s name? Might come across as attention-seeking?
Please: Do onto others as you would have them do onto you — and do all things with love. I humbly and genuinely ask quietly: Would you want another blogger to entitle a post with your name just as you have with Kelle’s here? And the invitation offered to discuss why you are/or are not hated? (hate is rather an inflammatory word, yes?)
She’s another mama down in the trenches. She’s one of us; why not extend the grace we all need?
By all means, discuss what is helpful in terms of blogging and how we can share our stories in authentic ways. Discuss what is dangerous and discouraging blogging. Invite dialogue on blogging philosophies that edify strong families and healthy parenting.
But to dissect another mama who gets out of bed everyday and puts her pants on like the rest of us and feels life deep– I confess, I am not sure it is particularly helpful, nor in the spirit of the sisterhood of mothers — nor is this what I want to model to my children.
Thank you for the grace of kindly listening. Thank you for loving on children and endeavouring to genuinely encourage mothers. Thank you for your heart for families. May the work of your hands and the words of your heart be blessed….
very well said says
I really think this commenter hit the nail on the head about her:
observerNovember 12, 2011 at 9:35 pm
“To be completely honest, I get the impression Kelle Hampton was horrified when her daughter was born with Down Syndrome and is using her blog as a vehicle to get thousands of people to give her self-validation when all she really has to do is pull her head out of her ass and LOVE her beautiful child instead of pasting her happy red-lipsticked face all over the internet and expecting throngs of anonymous internet folks to tell her everything is okay.”
Andi says
Reluctantly, I’ve chosen to disable comments on this post.
As I stated in the update on 12/21/11, the discussion has devolved from a healthy flow of “Not my cup of tea, here’s why…” and “I love her blog, and here’s why…” to a more negative flow of why one or the other of us is a terrible person. Attempting to bait me into an argument isn’t constructive to the discussion of “Do you prefer consistently positive or warts-and-all?” – which was the whole point of the post.
Despite some commenters’ beliefs to the contrary, I don’t hate Kelle Hampton (I would have thought that would have been obvious since I wrote in the title…) How could I hate her? I’ve never met the woman (hyperbole is apparently lost on some people). As for her blog, I don’t hate it, either – I’m actually rather lukewarm about it, as I’ve made clear in both the posts and my comments below it. I’m not jealous of her, either, because I don’t believe the life she portrays is a reflection of 100% of her existence – as one commenter said earlier, she’s selling a brand of motherhood. Martha Stewart wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. And I think it’s wonderful that she’s able to make money doing something she loves – who wouldn’t want that?
I welcome those who challenge my thinking – I have allowed every single post to stand that has disagreed with me in a healthy and constructive way. I have enjoyed reading about other people’s perspectives. Unfortunately, a handful of haters had to jump in and spoil the discussion, and those posts have been edited. The first two comments I removed (by “Hampton has issues” and “hi andi”) were what I considered to be unnecessarily critical of Kelle Hampton. The other three comments I removed were all by the same individual (“Lkh”) who was trying to bait me into an argument (I also edited one of my own in reply to “Lkh” – it didn’t make sense to leave it, though I regret nothing that I wrote in it).
Ultimately, the nastiness was only the catalyst for closing comments, not the cause. I’ve been thinking of doing it for several weeks for the simple reason that KH’s blog isn’t relevant to what I’m trying to do here at Bringing the Sunshine, which is to inform and inspire people and advocate for individuals who are differently-abled. Having the KH post always at the top of my recent comments is a distraction for new readers who may arrive here in search of information or inspiration.
Thank you to everyone who has respectfully joined in the discussion here. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me and others who read (and I apologize for the ridiculously long length of this comment!)