Last Wednesday, I experienced first hand what “going viral” really means. Cowards: “The Change-Up” and Disability Slurs was picked up by r-word.org and subsequently exploded. My email was pinging like mad with notifications of comments, new Twitter followers, and new Facebook likes. Welcome, new followers!
Most of the comments were supportive, and I am grateful. Only two individuals chose to challenge my assertions. One was a drive-by commenter who had little of value to add the conversation. I will presume that the second commenter was sincere and wished to engage in dialogue, so I’m going to repost the comment here along with my reaction.
Actors ACT. Movies are FICTIONAL portrayals. The people who write the scripts for movies aim for authenticity in representing the way people talk. Language like this DOES get used by a lot of people. Is it right in real life? No… of course not. But it happens and because it happens there is NOTHING wrong with an actor, screen writer, director, etc using the language to tell their story. If Hollywood avoided using any all offensive language, MOST movies rated PG and above would not exist.
I can appreciate this assertion – to a point. The director/producer David Dobkin asserted in his interview that the scene was intended to portray the character negatively. Any number of choices could have achieved the same result. In fact, targeting a more vocal group might have made the point more forcefully. The (cowardly) choice they made, however, was to insult the group that was least likely to cause trouble. Note that in the interview, Dobkin’s negative characterization used the phrase “He’s a mouth breather” – yet another slam, though a less direct one, on individuals with Down syndrome, who often have a slack-jawed appearance due to low muscle tone.
Let me ask you, with yours (sic) sensitivity, do you think that Huck Finn should be banned for using racial slurs? Was Mark Twain a racist or an artist using words… even ugly ones, to tell an important story?
Ah, yes, the Huck Finn argument. The commenter assumes that I would ban all offensive speech. First, I think most people would be hard-pressed to draw much serious critical comparison between The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and “The Change-Up.” Nonetheless, I have no desire to ban either. Huck Finn is a classic literary work, and as such it should be discussed and the racist language used within its pages should be part of the discussion. My posts on “The Change-Up” promote the same type of discussion, with education in mind. The racist language in Huck Finn has largely disappeared from the common vernacular; I hope that one day soon disability slurs will meet the same fate.
Okay… yes I realize that comedy is considered lower on the artistic spectrum, but do you get what I’m saying. Everyone can be offended by SOMETHING, but to blur the lines between real life and fiction is a little… well… unfair maybe… overly sensitive?
Not trying to pick a fight. Just offering what I feel is a fair counterpoint.
Finally, the commenter arrives at the sentiment that I hear often – that I and others who oppose the use of disability slurs are too sensitive. Again, the commenter assumes something completely different from my assertion – that the primary issue is that the language is offensive. Two days after the Cowards post, I was speaking with a young woman who used the r-word to refer to a process that was frustrating her. Because I knew she didn’t mean to offend me, I quietly asked her not to use that word, told her that I have a son with Down syndrome, and encouraged her to continue. I wasn’t upset with her, and I don’t think any less of her now than I did before the conversation. Knowing that she didn’t mean to offend, I could have let it go, but I didn’t.
Why? Because language is powerful. It has the power to inspire, and the power to control. Using slurs to refer to a group of people – any group of people – dehumanizes and devalues them. Throughout history, groups who were devalued were also oppressed, mistreated, and even slaughtered. Individuals with Down syndrome have just begun to make gains in access to education and inclusion in our society. If society believes that they don’t deserve education or inclusion, what will happen to them then?
It’s not about censorship or hurt feelings. It’s about respect.
Hi!!
As a child my mom often said to me, “Just because it’s accepted in the word, does not mean its right.” She used this a lot when she was teaching me the power of words. I grew up learning the right way to talk about disabilities, (retarded was frowned apone in our house) swearing, (even the word shut up was a swear word) and race, (First Nations, African Canadian, East Indians were used instead of Indians, Negors.) History is filled with powerful people who worked hard to change the way we use these words. Here is a quoute from Rick Hansen (www.rickhansen.com) that I like, “Twenty five years following his legendary Man In Motion World Tour, Rick Hansen’s journey to realize his dream of a world inclusive and accessible to all, continues. Building on a lifetime of extraordinary accomplishments, Rick believes his best work is still in front of him; challenging us to dream extraordinary dreams, to focus attention on accessibility and to remind everyone that when we remove barriers, anything is possible.” Having disrespectul words in media is putting up barriers istead of taking them down. I applaud you for taking a stand for your child because as a PARENT you are the one who is working to remove the barriers around them.
Candice
As a fiction writer (who is not writing much fiction these days!), I understand and agree that a character’s dialogue must be authentic to that character’s experience and personality. I watch a lot of HBO and Showtime programs with really offensive language but the dialogue is so very real and comes from, what I think, is a place of ignorance, anger and/or the frustrated communication skills of that character. I haven’t seen a lot of current movies, but I also cringe when comments making fun of people are used just for a laugh. It seems so unnecessary to the plot and the characters. People think I am sensitive, and I am, but I agree that language shapes our perceptions. I appreciate your taking this on. best,
I completely agree with you about the authenticity piece. If the character was written, for example, as a bully who specifically targeted another character with Down syndrome, then the language would be part of the context of the piece (and hopefully the character would receive his comeuppance!) The language would be part of the story in that instance.
However, I’m confident that the language in this case was included merely because it is (unfortunately) part of the common vernacular. Including it in the “dumb-dumb’s” dialogue (David Dobkin’s characterization) was a tacit acknowledgement that it was offensive. Yet…they let it go as just a passing remark, with no subsequent lesson.
I think the thing that disappoints me the most about this scene is that they can’t plead ignorance. They knew what they were doing and chose to do it anyway. They knew that some would be offended and others would laugh, and the laughter is what they counted on.
Well done for taking a strong stance in support of your beliefs and of course, your delightful children.
I recently had occasion to remonstrate with my 14 year old grandson who called his brother a retard. It appears that this unthinking use of the r word abounds in schools today and my grandson was suitably chastened when I let him read one of your posts.
Thank you for sharing. Your words will resonate with those of us who have a mind we use to think.
Thanks so much, Judith, for teaching your grandson about the r-word. It is a widespread problem among young people, but some are strong enough to speak out, and they can change the minds of (most of) the rest.
Andi,
First, I would like to tell you that you *are* a writer (not a “wannabe”)!
Next, I would like to thank you for your initial excellent analysis regarding why disability slurs continue in the film/tv industry, and to express here my gratitude for your follow-up, too.
I think your assessment regarding the second commenter is correct: the person intended no harm and was trying to engage in meaningful dialogue.I came across the same type of “well-meaning” comments when I addressed concern with the recent iCarly episode, “i Lost My Mind,” that aired last Saturday.
The more that we disability advocates help others to understand the many types of differences that exist in our world, the closer we will come to a world that is truly inclusive for all. Again, thank you so much for a taking a stand to help stop disability slurs.
Although I had heard of the iCarly situation, I was not clear on the details of it until I read your comment and did a little research. It’s hard to believe that the writers felt that plot was appropriate in 2011. Mr. Andi has a family member (whom we adore) with a history of mental health issues so, in addition to the r-word, we are sensitive to that topic, as well. Many people don’t get the help they need because of the stigma attached, and in some cases the results are tragic.
Thanks for visiting and keep fighting!
I second what Drew said above. You are a writer – a great writer. Congrats on your post going viral. Your writing is excellent and the points you bring out make people think before speaking. Good work!!!
Thanks so much, Sonya. I appreciate all that YOU are doing to spread the word.
Sigh, some people just don’t get it. The thing that really worries me is that, whether movies are “made up” or not, they can be incredibly influential in terms of people’s opinions and thoughts. By having a main character use a derogatory phrase, the movie people are reinforcing that the word is ok to use, even if that is not their intention. I think most movie-goers are mature enough and have sound enough judgment to be able to decide for themselves and not be influenced in this way by the characters they watch/listen to, but do they really? Even if most do, there are still lots of people that don’t, and these people would hear Ryan Reynolds say “downsy” and “retarded” and think those are words they should and can use too. Thats just my two cents though.
Agreed, Kim. As I alluded to in my comment to Wendy above, the people behind the film knew it was wrong, but felt no responsibility to handle it appropriately. If any of them had asked my opinion, I would have told them the following: Use those words if they’re appropriate to the character/scene, but if you do, make sure that the audience is clear on the intent. Take responsibility for your choices!
Since when does “I think this is a horrible thing to say in a movie or anywhere” mean “They Should ban this!” or how does it equal censorship?
I will go with the argument that this was to show that this was a boorish, self centered person. My understanding is that the writers/directors/producers whatever, didn’t do enough to establish that first.
If we can’t stand up and tell people that some words hurt and that we object to the use without hearing someone screaming foul about their rights. Everyone has the right to be a jerk. No one is taking that away but I also have the right to say what I want and what I want to say is “If you are a jerk to a person with a disability, I WILL be speaking up! I will not stay silent and I will not spend time in your presence by choice”!
Thank you for your article.
Free speech is a right that everyone has, and as such, the answer to “bad” speech is not censorship, but MORE speech. That’s why it’s so vitally important to continue to spread the word to all who will listen.
I am crazy and weird, please ignore and/or delete my comment if it offends anyone, but I just had an idea I would like to share.
You may or may not be familiar with the campaign to redefine the meaning of the word santorum. Do not look up the intended meaning, just trust me when I say it is nasty.
The relevant Wikipedia article is called:
Campaign for “santorum” neologism
Isn’t it possible to do the same thing for the R-word you hate so much, but the other way around? If enough people start to use the R-word frequently for something inoffensive…. the meaning of the word would slowly change, and at some point they will have to update the dictionary with the new inoffensive meaning.
Nota bene: I understand that I am too late with this idea and that it is impractical and inefficient to change tactics at this point in space and time, that is not my goal, the only thing I wanted to point out is that it may be possible to do the exact opposite thing and get a similar result.