Some days I just feel like beating my head against the wall. Today is one of those days.
I am pro-life, but I don’t protest outside abortion clinics. I don’t screech at my pro-choice friends and acquaintances about the evils of abortion. I don’t quote Bible verses and howl about impending judgment. Instead, I choose to engage in productive dialog so that others may understand my point of view. Some days, though, it doesn’t seem like I’m getting anywhere.
Anyone who’s been paying attention knows that babies prenatally diagnosed with Down syndrome are routinely aborted (though, based on my personal experience, few people realize how large the percentage actually is). Some people believe abortion is medically and/or socially appropriate in these cases, while others vehemently disagree (can you see me waving both hands wildly in the air?) But what about other conditions that are diagnosed in utero? Should all undesirable medical diagnoses be fair game for abortion?
Last week, the government released statistics in the United Kingdom on the number of abortions performed during 2010. Of the 2,290 abortions performed for a medical problem, 482 were due to a diagnosis of Down syndrome (heartbreaking, but no surprise). The more shocking statistic (at least to me) is that 188 of those aborted were due to musculoskeletal issues (e.g., club foot) or cleft lip/palate, and some of those occurred after 24 weeks gestation. I felt physically ill when I read the article, much as I did when I first learned, just a few days after Nathan was born, that approximately 90% of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome in utero are aborted.
Should the world have been spared the “burden” of individuals like Damon Wayans, Kristi Yamaguchi, Mia Hamm, and Troy Aikman? All were born with club foot. Do Peyton Manning and Joaquin Phoenix have a tragically low quality of life? Both were born with cleft lip/palate.
Yeah, that Peyton Manning sure is a drain on our limited resources. What a burden he must be to his family!
When Sarah Kate was in the NICU, there were babies in there – babies who survived and went home – who were born as early as 24 weeks gestation. The boy who spent several weeks next to her was a 27-weeker. If he or one of the others had been born with a cleft palate or club foot, would it have been okay to kill them in the delivery room, rather than whisking them away to the NICU?
I would hope that only the darkest among us would say no, but I’m not so sure.
The Daily Mail story disturbed me because it smacks of eugenics. Perhaps the parents of these children who were aborted were provided with outdated information and truly believed that their children’s conditions were much more serious, though I find that hard to believe in this day and age where information is literally at our fingertips, 24 hours per day. What about the doctors? Surely anyone licensed to practice medicine and perform such procedures would know that club foot and cleft palate aren’t fatal or even debilitating long-term.
Ann Furedi, a pro-choice advocate who was opposed to the release of the information, asserted that these abortions were done legally (true, but not the point) and was quoted as saying, “Behind every one of these figures are doctors and nurses who deserve our admiration and support, and a couple who have often lost a much-wanted pregnancy.” I’m sure that in some of these cases, the in utero diagnosis was a fatal one, and I know from personal experience how difficult those situations can be. But the last time I checked, club foot, cleft palate, and Down syndrome weren’t fatal diagnoses.
And, frankly, if these couples terminated for those reasons alone, then they didn’t “lose” it. I have two children with disabilities. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy, so don’t expect me to feel sorry for people who never gave their disabled children a chance to live.
For my generation and those that came after me, abortion has always been legal and many people don’t give it a lot of thought. Others are more invested and look at young women living in extreme poverty and, with true compassion, believe that it is better not to bring another child into those conditions (I can appreciate this viewpoint, though I disagree that abortion is the solution). This perspective feels compassionate.
Unfortunately, there are also people among us – people with darker, more sinister motivations – who believe it’s best to eliminate individuals with disabilities – even relatively minor ones. They use euphemisms such as “burden to society,” “low quality of life,” and “eradicating a disease” to justify eliminating people they deem inferior, and many of those people are medical professionals – people that we trust. If we’re taught to believe that an individual is going to lead a life of misery, it feels compassionate to prevent that misery by preventing their birth.
But, as the statistics suggest, it’s a slippery slope.
My heart aches for the potential Damons, Mias, Troys, Kristis, Peytons, Joaquins, and Nathans who weren’t allowed the opportunity to live, and my soul is fearful of what is to come.
This post is the first of a two-part series. Part Two, The Battle We’re Winning was published on Tuesday.
Great post.
This is a fantastically-written post. Looking forward to reading Part 2!
As you know, you and I are very different and live very different lives, but we converge on so many important things. In my youth I was vehemently pro-choice, and while I still consider myself politically pro-choice (the rationale being that making them illegal doesn’t stop them from happening and I’d rather they be medically supervised than not) I am twice as vehemently against abortion in the case of non-fatal diagnoses or unless the mother’s life is at risk.
We may disagree politically, but I am equally sickened by the statistics on prenatal diagnoses which are wholly compatible with life. Down syndrome, club feet, cleft palate – it makes me physically ill to think that people would abort in these situations.
I also believe using prenatal diagnoses as the determinant for termination when the diagnosis is anything BUT fatal is exactly what you called it – Eugenics. As a lesbian who believes being gay is as much who I am as being a woman is, the “where do we draw the line” argument hits very close to home. If we could identify in utero that a child would grow up to be gay, would that be grounds for termination as well? Slippery slope indeed. What if a child in utero carried the cancer gene? Or we discover the genetic link for autism?
Changing people’s minds isn’t even just about access to information. Recently a woman on a message board I post to was frantic that her wife was carrying a child that tested 1/16 chance of having Down Syndrome. This educated, intelligent woman has access to as much information as any doctor around. And yet she was absolutely convinced that termination would be appropriate. I was at a loss. I tried offering friends up for her to talk to, friends with children with DS who are thriving and healthy, and she would have none of it. Where does this come from? We have to find a way to change the social views of people with disabilities in order to change these abortion rates.
I’m with you, and however we can fight this fight I’m on board.
K, you are so right! If you were here with me right now, I would give you a gigantic hug (and I don’t even know your real name, although I encourage everyone who stops by here to check out your blog, Where Love and Chaos Reign, which I adore). So much fault lies with the medical community for providing medical factoids rather than compassionate consultation, but not all of the blame lies with them. Ultimately, the lack of compassion – TRUE compassion – understanding, and support of others is where we as a society are lacking. Today, children with Down syndrome and other disabilities are the targets, but it could be any one of us at any time.
That statistics in that article are sickening. Based off of comments on various articles that have been in the news lately (ie the new prenatal test for Ds) do not sound much different than Hitler’s beliefs–striving for “the perfect” race and therefore we must eradicate all who deviate from the societal view of “perfect”. Maybe we should develop a test to see if the child will need braces later on or will be depressed in adulthood because then we can “relieve society’s burden” and improve quality of life. Uck!
The scenario you described is why termination due to prenatal diagnosis is such a slippery slope. Would it be acceptable to kill someone who was injured in battle and suffered a life-long disability? Is it okay to put an Alzheimer’s patient to death? What about drug addicts? An expectation has arisen that everyone should have an easy, happy, “productive” life, and we seem to have developed a strong distaste for anything perceived to be uncomfortable or unpleasant.
I get also that for a lot of parents, they really do believe that they are being compassionate to their unborn child – that what they’re doing is exactly the same as taking somebody pronounced brain dead off life support. And I can imagine how difficult that choice is. My husband’s friends did it a few months before we got pregnant. . .
And yet, I feel badly for thinking it, but I also agree with you that I don’t feel like they “lost” the baby, in the same way that I lost my daughter, Caitlin, who was stillborn due to a brain defect. And yes, our hands were partly tied in choosing to continue to carry her, given the 50% chance she had of dying in utero – terminating her would have put her two sisters at risk of miscarriage (and as it turns out, I delivered a few days after she had died, so we are more than ever convinced that if we had terminated her at 18 weeks, when we found out, that we would have lost not only her, but her sisters as well). But, when his friend went through this, we had a discussion and I told my husband that I would never be able to terminate in a similar situation, because the “what if’s” would kill me more than what really happened. If we’d terminated Caitlin, I would always wonder if she would have survived and thrived – and now I know, that regardless of what we did, she wasn’t coming home with us.
And as for the club foot/cleft palate diagnoses, I can only hope that it was part of a larger diagnosis – but even then, the “possibility” that it could be part of something larger just seems like a huge gamble.
I absolutely agree with you when you say that “…they really do believe that they are being compassionate to their unborn child…” Therein lies the problem, and why it’s so difficult to effect change. It seems compassionate to choose the action that will prevent suffering, but that choice is based on the myth that all people with disabilities not only suffer, but that their suffering is the sum total of their being, and that parents of children with disabilities are constantly suffering, as well. It’s the same belief that causes strangers to use the Pity Stare or to say “I’m sorry” – two things that those of us who live in the special needs world despise. Disability does not equal tragedy.
Andi – you have such a way of writing about these topics – I’m sitting here reading, and nodding my head!
We live near a public high school with a clinic nearby. There are routinely pro-lifers protesting nearby, with huge pictures showing aborted fetuses. I ache for the teens who feel abortion is the only way, and for the children who will never be given a chance.
As for the medical diagnoses – when my Mom was pregnant with me, her water broke in her sixth month – she was diagnosed with placenta previa and placenta abrupto. She was given weekly transfusions just to survive. She was told to let the pregnancy “go”, as she could always get pregnant again, and I most likely would be institutionalized for life. When I was born, early, I still was not expected to survive – my mother wasn’t allowed to see me (as then she wouldn’t become “attached”, I was put in an incubator and left in a side room of the nursery. With my breathing as it was, it was assumed that I’d die quickly. They checked every hour or so, and I was still gasping. Apparently I am stubborn.
I am forever grateful to my parents, who believed that God made me exactly as I was, and in His eyes, I was perfect. I always felt safe with people who felt as they did. Now, I’ll have to admit, I don’t feel as though we (as a society) are as “safe”.
To me, every moment of life is precious.
Wow, Terri. Just…wow. An amazing story of life and resilience. Thank you so much for sharing a very personal piece of your life. You are amazing.
I recently found your blog & as a mother of 2 – both with separate, unrelated diagnoses (my son, Will, has hand & feet differences) & our daughter, Ellie, has a condition affecting her joints & muscle) I have found that I can often relate to your thoughts & stories.
I loved your post you wrote today & would love to link to if from my blog, with your permission.
This post hit me hard today. I am in the world of club feet and have been on the edges of dealing with cleft issues. It is heartbreaking and gut wrenching and makes my stomach sick that quality of life is defined by some by medical diagnoses.
We learned of each of children’s issues prenatally. Because they have visible orthopedic conditions, we learned of them via ultrasounds – not through screening tests.
We did choose to conduct some further testing with one of our children but that was due to the fact that in utero the precious babe was pulling several stunts causing our specialists around the country to fear she would not survive and so with further testing we were able to determine if there was medicine I could take that would allow her to live long enough to be born. We were fighting for her life. We did have two doctors mention abortion to us but they were quickly informed that that was not an option for us and that we value life, that our children are fearfully and wonderfully made and created with purpose & intent, and that their little lives were precious to us – in whatever form God chose to bless them and us with. Quality of life is not defined by a diagnosis. Our lives are better because of the children we have been blessed with, our joy is greater, and our value for all human life deeper.
I loved your post and I appreciate your willingness to stand up for those too vulnerable to stand up for themselves yet.
Goodness, sorry, this is so long…
I just wanted to comment and tell you how much I loved your post & would it be okay if I linked to it?
Katie
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Katie! I am always thrilled when readers comment with their personal experiences – my blog is intended to be a conversation, not a soapbox. You are welcome to link to this or any of my posts that you deem worthwhile to share.
I would like to thank you and those of your readers for sharing your very personal stories with us. I am learning so much from reading your blog.
It’s true. My thoughts on abortion have changed a lot since being pregnant… even before the 20-week diagnosis of likely preterm labor with twins.
24 weeks gestation abortion… that just makes me ill. My 23 weeker is amazing!! Thank you for your post!!
This is such a well written post. I especially liked this part:
And, frankly, if these couples terminated for those reasons alone, then they didn’t “lose” it. I have two children with disabilities. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy, so don’t expect me to feel sorry for people who never gave their disabled children a chance to live.
Thanks for looking out for our little guys and gals that aren’t “perfect” enough. We try to do the same at the funhouseblog.
What a wonderful post. And what a gorgeous photo! Thanks for sharing. x
thank you for your inspiring words and other courageous testimonies
must keep posting to keep bringing sunshine perhaps those who regret their decisions may find some consolation in your brave actions
God bless the children !