Today I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Swap. You’ll find me posting over at The Finer Things in Life about embracing the unexpected, and I’m excited to welcome Bernice from Living the Balanced Life to Bringing the Sunshine:
We spend our days waiting for the ideal path, but we forget.. paths are made by moving not by waiting. ~ Vea Mariz
We all had a picture of how we thought our life would go, back when we were younger, maybe in high school or in college, preparing to graduate. We may have planned to begin a career in a field we loved, and climb the corporate ladder as quickly as possible. Maybe we planned to wait 5 years to get married and then wait another 5 before having our 1.8 children that statistics show we will have. We wanted an apartment in the city or maybe a house in the suburbs.
Maybe you had a different type of plan. Maybe you wanted to travel the world a year before settling into your career. Maybe you wanted to work with a company that would have allowed you to travel and see the world. Maybe you wanted to start your own business, or you had an idea for a best seller.
Reality
And then, life happened. Things came along that you weren’t expecting. Maybe you got the job you wanted only to realize you despise the career choice you picked. Or you got the job, only to get laid off in the recession.
Love has a way of happening without you expecting it, and so instead of waiting 5 years to get married, you married after 2. And then you had a baby right away. Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you have tried and tried to conceive, but to no avail. Or maybe you did, and now have a special needs child.
Maybe the business failed. Your manuscript was rejected. Your mother got sick and you felt like you couldn’t leave the country. So many things can come along that we don’t expect. It’s called life.
If things haven’t turned out the way we had planned (and do they ever, really?) are you like many people sitting and waiting for another path to present itself? Do you moan and complain about how “life has treated you”? Do you harbor inner grudges towards the universe at the way your path turned out?
We have to realize, like in the quote above, our path, our life, is created by movement. If life has not turned out as we had envisioned or hoped, how are we handling this? Are you sitting and waiting for a new path to present itself, a “better path” than the one you have?
Or, have you chosen to create your own path, as paths are made by moving forward and not just waiting.
3 steps to create your own perfect path
Let me stress that I am not using the word perfect as in “without flaw”. I mean perfect as in “what is best for YOU”.
1. Take an assessment of where you are.
- What are you unhappy with?
- What would you like to see different in your life?
2. Accept the things about your life that you may not be able to change.
- You have a sick parent.
- Your child has special needs.
- You may have been unable to conceive.
- You are currently the major breadwinner in your home.
3. Determine the things that you can change.
- Go back to school.
- Start a different business.
- Send the manuscript again, and again.
- Find a support group.
- Research adoption.
- Seek out other resources to help you.
- Check your attitude.
Clearing a new path is not usually an easy job. There will be some opposition, from within and without. You will get tired, you will get frustrated.
Some days it won’t seem as if you have made any progress at all. But, if you keep plugging away at it, one day you will realize that you have come a long way.
And, even though it wasn’t where you thought you were going, you realize it is not such a bad place after all.
Bernice is the founder of Living the Balanced Life. Her goal is to help you define and live by your priorities. Having gone through a major personal struggle last year, she is committed to helping others avoid the same.
Visit Life…Your Way to see all of the Ultimate Blog Swap participants!
I found myself really nodding along here. Hubby and I were together young so we had lots of dreams of how we were going to live and we were (and still are) pretty committed to following them through, but as you said, “life happens”.
You don’t create a life in a decision, a moment or even a year. We’re now on a much more realistic timeline, but that was a huge life learning curve for us.
I think our dreams/goals are now something to reach for, but we know how they unfold will be a complete surprise–we just need to keep moving forward with flexiblity.
Thanks for the great post!
Absolutely Hillary. Being flexible is key! We have to be willing to roll with the punches and find another route to take. No pity parties!
Thanks for commenting!
Bernice
I wish I didn’t, but I so do some of the stuff you talk about. Lately I’ve been whiny about how where we live is keeping me from finding a job I love. And in some ways it’s true – small town, not a lot of jobs to pick from. But that doesn’t mean I need to be mopey about it. It doesn’t mean that I can’t find something else that makes me happy. And that’s what I need to do now.
This post was really good timing for me.
Krista,
I am glad my words were helpful for you. It is easy to get in that mindset. What we have to do is get creative and think outside of the box. Is it possible for you to create your own job or work in the field you would enjoy? Is it something you could do on the side for a while? Put your thinking cap on and have an open mind, you never know what might come your way! That new path pay present itself in a way you never expected!
Bernice