If there’s anyone left out there who is under the mistaken impression that I am super-mom, a saint, or filled with a limitless capacity for caring, empathy, patience, or motherly perfection, I am officially declaring today that I Am None of Those Things. Not only am I declaring it (envision Michael Scott), but I have proof.
- I forget things. The hairdresser called at 3:10 today, wanting to know if *she* had written the day down wrong. Um, no, I’m just a slacker and forgot that Sarah Kate had a 3:00 appointment. We’ll be there in five.
- I dress like a slob. My house isn’t a mess, mostly because I can’t stand clutter (“messy house, messy mind!”), but I am. As I type this, I have my hair pulled back, am not wearing any makeup, and am clothed in a running skirt and a race shirt from 2007 (none of which would matter if I was at home, but I’m not – I’m out in public at swim practice – sorry, Mom!)
- I’m lazy. Not worthless-sack-of-crap lazy, just regular lazy. There are days that I waste an obscene amount of time online. I don’t do yard work. Ever. On a good week, I’ll cook four times. Today was laundry day but the only laundry I did was fold the diapers because…I just didn’t feel like laundry today. I’ll do it tomorrow.
- I swear. Yes, I know it’s not setting a good example for my precious angels. It started a long time ago when I got laughs for using profanity (I still don’t know why it amuses people) and it became a habit.
- I don’t really like kids that much. It’s true. I like MY kids, (and a few others) but I’ll never be the mom every kid on the block loves, because I’m not fun and most children (other than my own) are so impossible for me to connect with that they might as well be aliens speaking a foreign dialect.
- I don’t do school field trips, even though I’m a SAHM. I know lots of moms LOVE field trips and will even take off work to attend. I avoid them like the plague. I will never, ever, ever volunteer to be room mom. Although if begged I would almost certainly do it as I find it hard to say “no” to pleas of desperation.
- I gave the baby iced chai a few weeks ago. I was drinking it, he was curious, so I shared. He loved it (who doesn’t?) He has also tried Dr. Pepper and chocolate cupcake frosting.
- I have been known, on occasion, to feed my daughter popcorn for dinner. She likes it, I like it, it’s easy to make and the Stir Crazy is easy to clean up. Everyone wins. (I draw the line at microwave popcorn, however – I do have standards).
- My kids don’t get baths every night. If Sarah Kate has been in the pool that day, I usually call it good. She doesn’t have green hair yet so I’m not worried.
- A couple of weeks ago, I paid Sarah Kate her allowance using money she had leftover from Christmas and birthday last year. Wouldn’t be a big deal if I had paid her back later, but I haven’t. The envelope with the cash was sitting on my desk for ten months, so I’m pretty sure she won’t miss it.
I’ve always been pretty picky about, well, everything, so the fact that this list exists (and it’s not exhaustive by any means!) is a pretty big deal. The fact that I would be willing to admit all of these things to the world is HUGE. If I have learned nothing else, though, in the past (almost) eight years, it’s that some things that seem important just don’t matter all that much. I don’t put iced chai in Nathan’s bottle, so his health probably isn’t negatively impacted. The laundry will be done eventually. Sarah Kate told me I was cute in all of my un-primped glory this afternoon. My kids are happy, healthy, and know they are loved, so I think that makes me good enough.
This made me laugh out loud. You are even more super because you are also human. Your kids are blessed to have you… and so are we!
You just better hope that nobody from school reads #6 😉
You are MY American Idol Mom no matter how many list you make!!! Every word was true and I love you for WHO you are! Why? Because I am just like you casual comfy clothes and all. April wants Los Tacos. I just want to be at your house! I love you! LA
Love this post! I often think I'm running a big sham, as sometimes my apartment is so messy if people were to randomly stop over, I'd pretend I wasn't home…but then I remind myself that I live in an apartment in Chicago, and people don't really do that here. I also sometimes go too long without washing my hair.
I just take your advice…put on lipstick and VIOLA! Polished. 😉
I love this post…imperfection and human – just like the rest of us 🙂
Love it! 🙂
I could have written this post. #3,5, and 6 are me to a T. From one anti-uber mom to another, thank you for reminding us that having happy and loved children really is having it all.
Ah, yes. The importance of recognizing what's "good enough." I love this moment as another good enough mother —
I'm here through Blog Gems and look forward to learning more about you and your family!
I have a list that is very similar to yours. My laziness shows up when I want to be outside more than in. Because Of my kids, I find I have a lot of kids in my yard who see me digging holes for flowers and want to plant flowers with me. That is when I force, um, allow the inside perfectionist go take a coffee break and let them help.
I have to say I relate to what you posted. I too have a child with cerebral palsy (14) and one with down syndrome (11) and so many people tell me how great or special I am. Well…….I am just like you!! We are just regular mum’s with special and awesome kids. I could not help but laugh while reading your list, you are so normal its great and your children will blossom with a mum like you. Keep up the good work.
I clicked on this from your homepage. Ha, I NEVER wear makeup an my hair is ALWAYS in a ponytail. I need to get a haircut, but if it’s too short I can’t wear a pony, and I feel like I look better with my hair pulled off my face. Hmm, pulled of my make-up less face, which can show you how much I don’t care that I don’t wear makeup!
I give my girls baths 2x a week. We live in Alaska. We stay inside most of the time. They’re not getting dirty or sweaty playing in the den. I don’t think they stink.
I love your honesty!
Jenny
Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not alone. 🙂 …to add to your list:
I shower (maybe) three times a week
Let my kids watch too much TV
Try to take the kids out so i don’t have to be home and clean.